Fights over the front seat, racing to prove who is faster, begging them not to snitch are all pinnacles of siblinghood. Waving them off to college, knowing the next time they will be home is… Thanksgiving? Not so much. Many current LHS students have said goodbye to their siblings in the past few years, and some just in the past few months, as they leave to face their next chapter in life.
LHS junior Ashlyn Dejong is a perfect example. Her sister, Kelsey Dejong, left a few weeks ago to begin her sophomore year at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
“When she first left as a freshman [in college], I didn’t think I would be that sad, but I was for months after. Since we cheered and went to Lincoln together for a year, we basically did everything together. Now that she is a couple of hours away, I do everything by myself now. It’s so different,” said Dejong.
Dejong has learned multiple strategies to cope when she is missing her sister.
“When I miss her, I watch old videos of us or I FaceTime her,” said Dejong. “When she is visiting home, I spend as much time with her as I can. Sometimes I cancel plans just so I can make the most of the time that I have with her until she has to go back.”
She also hopes to support others who have said temporary goodbyes to their siblings.
“Think about the good moments that you had with them and know that they will come back, and you are going to see them again. Text them a lot because it makes you feel so much better to hear from them,” said Dejong.
Siblings often spend more time together than with friends and even parents, but the importance of sibling relationships is frequently overlooked. According to demographicresearch.org, 82% of children in the U.S. live with at least one sibling who provides support and friendship during the most formative years of one’s life. When all that is taken away, it is a shocking experience. A close family member has packed up and moved to another city, state or even country, and everyone is expected to continue on with life as normal?
The years siblings spend growing up together create one of the strongest bonds a person can form. The harsh reality of going from spending all of childhood together to helping them pack up their belongings is painful. Although, as time goes by, the quiet becomes less obvious. One must learn to appreciate holidays when siblings visit and the shared phone calls. Summers become even more special as new routines are adjusted due to their arrival home.
One of the most important ways to adjust is being honest with each other. When you feel particularly lonely, communicate with your siblings. Vulnerability goes a long way in preserving and even deepening relationships. Connecting with others who have had a sibling leave also helps the transition because they have firsthand experience as well. Remember to embrace the discomfort, as it provides the opportunity to grow and adapt to changes. Goodbyes are hard, but change is inevitable.
