Lincoln High School Statesman

Class of cliches

Popular high school films, such as Mean Girls, portrays a clique of entitled popular girls. In reality, it is difficult to place students in categories.

Emma Johnson, Staff Writer

October 16, 2020

High school movies seem like all the rage these days, coming of age comedies that are supposed to make teenagers breathe out a sigh of relief and acknowledgment. However, the main issue with them is that they are written by adults who have already surpassed their 10 year high school reunions.  The ...

Halloween: under or overrated?

LHS seniors are proud to wear whatever they feel makes them the most confident.

Ree Baireddy, Staff Writer

October 15, 2020

October is the season of pumpkins and candy galore. People shove their shorts and tank tops to the back of their closet and reach for sweaters and boots to stay warm for the upcoming cold season. Although the weather is not ideal for most, people can celebrate one of the most popular holidays of the fa...

My addiction with pink monster

This Monster may or may not cause nausua, insomnia, headaches, dizziness, anxiety and/or death.

Veronica Iseminger, Staff Writer

September 25, 2020

I remember the day like it was yesterday. Aug, 15, a Saturday morning. An absolutely gorgeous day filled with sunshine and rainbows, fluffy white clouds floating gently across the sky and cool breezes blowing swiftly through the air. As per Saturday tradition, my best friend Trina picked me up. I can st...

Different types of people on Zoom calls

Cinematic picture of the zoom logo on a laptop and someone typing.

Henry Haft, Satire Editor

September 17, 2020

Since we have started quarantine, we have adapted to our new lives by using Zoom calls to communicate with our teachers and classmates. During our time of social distancing, people have reacted to using the Zoom calls in very different ways. Here are the different types of people on Zoom calls.  ...

TikTok trend causes international shortage of painter’s tape

An elusive roll of Scotch Painter's Tape. DIY quarantine projects have caused a shortage of the high-quality, low-residue tape.

Slater Dixon, Perspectives Editor

May 20, 2020

The closing of schools due to COVID-19 has caused many teenagers to engage in various aesthetic projects, but those seemingly innocent activities are putting a monumental strain on a crucial national resource: ScotchBlue Multi-Surface Painter’s Tape.  “This is just one more thing to worry abou...

Top 5 Easiest Ways to Make Money During Quarantine

Spencer Wasmund, Sports Editor

May 19, 2020

During a pandemic like the one we are in right now, there aren’t an overabundance of places for people to work as many businesses have closed or have extremely limited hours. This list is the top five best and easiest ways to make money during quarantine.   Join a pyramid scheme What better wa...

The life of an artist

The life of an artist

Brita Quello, Staff Writer

May 14, 2020

Fame can change you. I am proud to confirm that the glitz and glam of Hollywood and human instinct to fall to the hierarchy of the prestige has not and will not affect me. I am grounded. You may have seen my face on the billboards, in the newspaper or on the news due to my painting that I uploaded to ...

“Coronacation” driving bored students to commit remote learning

Things have been difficult for the youth as the Coronavirus pandemic ensues. What are they supposed to do?

Kyla Clark, Staff Writer

April 23, 2020

With boredom at an all-time high, bored youngins turn to doing their schoolwork. In the start of the new decade, Coronavirus has engulfed the globe in germs and missing toilet paper. While adults become anxious and frantically try to outrun death, today’s teens remain lethargic. They have cutely nam...

February sucks. Change my mind

February is by far the worst month of the entire year.

Caleb Hiatt, Staff Writer

February 7, 2020

Every month of the year has something that makes it great. December has Christmas, November has Thanksgiving, October has Halloween and so on. The only month that pales in comparison to all other months is February. February sucks, especially for those who live in the midwest. February is always ...

Homecoming king humbly accepts nomination despite knowing darn well he’d win the whole time

Tim White and Anna Robinson won LHS' Homecoming king and queen in 2017.

Landon DeBoer, Sports Editor

September 20, 2019

Awarding Kyle Homecoming king was the least the students of LHS could do to show a token of respect to a kid who left a mediocre impact on their lives. Kyle overwhelmingly won the Homecoming crown with 200 more votes than the next closest candidate. This stat came as no surprise to Kyle’s parents, ...

Top scientists: climate change not that big of a deal anymore

This tree will continue to prosper thanks to this momentous achievement

Slater Dixon, Perspectives editor

August 29, 2019

Take note of this moment; scientists from organizations including NASA, the American Meteorological Society and the United Nations have made a startling announcement: climate change is officially not that big of a deal now.  What was once thought of as the greatest issue facing humanity is now recei...

Student receives juvenile detention for talking about AP test

Student receives juvenile detention for talking about AP test

Caleb Miller, Staff Writer

May 16, 2019

Disclaimer: This story is purely for satirical purposes. None of the events described are true and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. On Wednesday, May 15, LHS sophomore Max Peterson was taken into the Minnehaha County Juvenile Center with a seri...