Lincoln High School Statesman

Forget the studying tips you've picked up elsewhere. They're all lying to you.

Surviving finals: a guide to romanticizing your way through testing

Mara Fendrich, Staff Writer May 24, 2021

As I near the end of my last round of finals, the time has come to give away the vast collection of knowledge I have obtained as a high school test taker. Fear not, for I’m not here to give you boring,...

Coming up with the perfect summer bucket list is a daunting challenge, but I believe I have crafted the perfect one.

Top 10 ways to spend your summer

Avery Blackman, Perspectives Editor May 6, 2021

With only a few weeks of the school year remaining, summer will be here before we know it, meaning it’s time for everyone to plan out their summer days. No one wants to feel like they are wasting even...

Pssst. Are you sad? Upset? Depressed? Try out the three step rule!

Simple solutions

DISCLAIMER: This story is a satire and is NOT to be taken seriously. No real health professionals have been involved in the three step rule.
Veronica Iseminger, Perspectives Editor April 22, 2021

Everyone struggles with something, whether it's from serious life changes or months worth of missing French homework. The truth is, life is never easy, especially in high school. Being a teenager is incredibly...

One year with COVID-19 deserves a special celebration, a cake should do it justice.

Happy one-year anniversary, COVID-19

Anna Engels, Feature Editor April 14, 2021

Happy one-year anniversary to the love of my life, COVID-19. Although we have had our ups and downs, you made this past year of my life appalling. Sorry, I meant appealing. One year of your presence...

Preparing for Smarter Balance testing pushes juniors over the edge, especially those who don't study.

Smarter Balanced determines senior status

Emma Johnson, Staff Writer April 13, 2021

Year after year, juniors fear the dreaded days of Smarter Balanced testing. For two hours each morning, students are expected to come to school and partake in rigorous testing over English, writing, math...

How to get your Chemistry grade up

How to get your Chemistry grade up

Morgan Sandness, Staff Writer March 26, 2021

I don't know; you tell me. Like actually, please help.

Cardio Fitness is a half credit class at LHS.

The therapy of Cardio Fitness

Morgan Sandness, Staff Writer March 25, 2021

“A gym credit or free therapy?” is a question many ask themselves after taking the half-credit gym class needed to graduate from LHS. The mystery behind the benefits of the class has many others wondering...

A perfect example of the mom jeans that are popular today.

2021 trends: How much worse can they get?

Bella Engebretson, Staff Writer March 18, 2021

Platform flip-flops  We all know that platform shoes have been in this year, such as Converse, Vans and now apparently, flip flops. I think these shoes are not the worst trend of this year, but...

Photo leaked from secret security footage set up in Jansen's room, catching him in the act.

LHS math department scandal: if we can’t trust his pencils can we even trust his credentials?

Madeleine Kemper, Online Editor-in-Chief March 11, 2021

After years of convincing everyone of his religious use of the high-quality writing instrument, Paper Mate’s Mirado Black Warrior, it has come to light that LHS math teacher Jared Jansen actually uses...

Crickets chirps echo through the gym after the season comes to a close.

Five stages of grief; boys basketball version

Olivia Brost, News Editor March 11, 2021

The clock hit zero and the fans cheering came to a staggering halt. Just like that, the season was done. The away players sulked off the court while RHS rejoiced their new victory. “What now?” Was...

It's common to receive texts like these, unfortunately often right before Valentine's Day.

The truth about high school love

Emma Johnson, Staff Writer February 10, 2021

Disclaimer: This is a satire. None of this information should be taken seriously.  It’s a tale as old as time. A girl walks down the hallway. Someone bumps into her and her armful of books spill...

Although the dispute on which soda is the most superior, Coke has taken a firm stance on beverages, whereas with Pepsi, they has become big with snacks.

The unresolved dispute of 2020

Ree Baireddy, Staff Writer January 14, 2021

A global pandemic. A racial reckoning. A historic election. 2020 is a year that will go down in history for mankind. Conflict aroused constantly about whether the police department was doing enough to...

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