With the semester quickly coming to a close, the juniors of LHS are realizing they should probably start paying attention to their GPAs, and the seniors are acclimatizing to a constant sense of panic. We approach a pivotal time period in the journey, going from high school student to upperclassman, then graduate and all the way back to nobody.
My personal favorite part of the grueling process entails five hours of standardized testing in a seat in the middle of a freezing classroom from which you can not see the clock. The ACT. Conveniently, all ACT testing dates fall Saturday mornings at 8 am – when students operate at their academic peak! With the next ACT testing opportunity falling on Dec. 9 and approaching its participants alarmingly quickly, I figured test takers could use a few helpful tips on scoring a perfect 36. Here are my quick and easy steps for acing the ACT.
Step 1: While you are still incubating in your mother’s womb, be sure to remind her to consume enormous amounts of oily fish and other seafood. These delicacies are rich in nutrients such as choline, zinc and omega-3 fats, which all help to promote brain growth in the womb. It’s a small sacrifice to make for a perfect test score, and I’m sure your mother would be happy to help.
Step 2: As soon as you enter the world as we know it, have your father start drilling complex grammar principles and vocabulary terms into your large brain. The first sentences you hear when you first see the light of day should have at least five commas each. If your first word as an infant doesn’t contain more than three syllables, you may need to turn your focus towards some test-optional universities.
Step 3: Upon receiving your first iPad on Christmas day, remove all applications unrelated to educational prosperity. No more Subway Surfers, Geometry Dash, Minecraft or Fruit Ninja. Head to the app store and download sudoku, Desmos graphing and chess. If these three necessary staples still don’t provide you adequate entertainment, you could even dabble in some 2048 here and there.
Step 4: Get used to studying under a variety of circumstances. Ideally, you live in a climate that can range from excruciatingly hot in the summer to excruciatingly cold in the winter. Sioux Falls is okay, but you can do better. Try taking a few of your assignments to Mount Everest and completing them at the summit, or try carrying them across the Sahara Desert to fill them out in the sweltering heat. This easy exercise will prepare you for the wildly unpredictable temperature of your assigned testing room.
Step 5: It’s the first day of high school. You look around and watch as all your poor, stupid classmates struggle trying to lift their heavy backpacks onto their frail shoulders. Lucky for you, you won’t be needing a bag at all. If you really want to ace this test, you need to get in the right mentality from day one and stay there. Do you get to use notes on the ACT? No. So throw away your notebooks. Do you have access to the internet during the ACT? No. Leave your chromebook plugged in at home. Are pencils allowed in the ACT? Yes. But it doesn’t matter. Leave them all at home and use your massive oily brain instead.
The next few ACT dates are coming up fast, and so are our futures. The significance of the upcoming months and their potential impact on the rest of our lives can not be overstated. While you may feel overwhelmed by the prospect of the ACT, I assure you that by adhering to these simple guidelines, you are securing an easy 36 on the big test, and ultimately an easy life too.
