CK-Express, we need to talk…
October 28, 2022
Dear CK-Express,
You’re ruining my life. Every day, every second is plagued by your incessant need to torment me. I open my chromebook and what is staring back at me? CK-Express. Oh you need to switch tabs? Funny! You can’t. CK-Express won’t let you. Not to even mention the million update checks per day. Is it necessary, really? At least I can go to bed at night knowing my chromebook is up to date! Because that’s my biggest concern in life! Who even are you, CK-Express? What do you do? Where did you come from? Why LHS’s chromebooks? Why me? I don’t understand.
I might not know what you are, or why you’re here. But I do know how terribly you’re affecting my life. You slow down my pages. You randomly close my tabs. Important tabs. I’m-in-the-middle-of-an-intense-project tabs. You give no justification, you need no justification. No one questions CK-Express’s authority. All mighty, untouchable CK-Express. You rub it in, too. In every slow tab, in every random shut down, you sign your name. CK-Express branded clearly in a corner, or on the very tab itself, making it clear to everyone who is responsible for the action. You’re a menace, you’re a psycho. And you like it. You love making teenagers cry. Maybe just one teenager. Upon further reflection I can’t think of any of my peers who have cried because of CK-Express. Possibly just myself. But know that they’re mad at least. Everyone hates you, CK-Express.
I’ve done some research, and I’ve discovered who you are. The CK-Express website lists you as a content keeper and extension for chromebook user identification, but I’m not that naive. I know that’s just a front. You live to destroy lives. I’m taking the real advice from Urban Dictionary, known for its reputation, who defines CK-Express as “a shit*y website used by schools and companies to monitor devices, but it usually just slows them down to taking 10 seconds to load pages.” This definition is much more congruent with the CK-Express that I know and hate.
Please, for the sake of my sanity, see yourself out of my life. Don’t get me wrong, you’re not the first terrible addition to the Sioux Falls School District chromebooks. There was the random addition of our birth year to our chromebook passwords. That was worse than trying to remember to switch the year on dates after the new year has passed. Of course, we can’t forget the age of Lanschool: also horrifying. But you, CK-Express, are a different kind of evil. Spawn of Satan, sent to destroy me kind of evil. Please. Go away.
Alexander • Dec 12, 2024 at 12:04 pm
If only the school had enough money to pay for nord vpn
lucyy • Dec 10, 2024 at 10:18 pm
Yeah my district just installed it on my Chromebook and it´s literally impossible to do anything. We can´t even play Gimkit anymore for school because it takes hours to load.
Katie • Nov 22, 2024 at 1:22 pm
Log out of your computer. Factory reset it, log in as fast as you can and then go into Google play store, find CK and press cancel as its downloading. It WILL try to redownload itself. You just have to keep pressing cancel for a while until it stops. Hope this helps.
rok8rayCKhater • Nov 19, 2024 at 4:06 pm
thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ck sucks so bad a high powered vaccuum cleaner complained about it stealing its job
candlesbiggestfan • Nov 15, 2024 at 8:26 pm
i don’t even go here but in some timeline maybe ck-express doesn’t exist
Alexander • Nov 12, 2024 at 10:04 pm
Why would it do that in the first place~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You have to search about 18 tabs to find a game you can play that is not blocked,18-52 if it wants to be difficult
Owen Maldonado • Nov 5, 2024 at 9:20 am
CK-Express is a tyrant and a horrible stain on this otherwise great and amazing world, and in an alternate universe where CK-Express doesn’t exist, The world looks like Pyroland from TF2’s “Meet the Pyro.” This absolutely diabolical menace of a chrome extension needs nothing more than for all of its’ servers and developers to be launched straight into the sun.
GokuSolosCKExpress12 • Oct 31, 2024 at 1:21 pm
CK Express killed my dog, my goldfish, the hot girl in my math class, and my entire family. please shut this menace to society down and get justice for my bloodline
REPORTER • Nov 5, 2024 at 12:10 pm
everyone in school is getting ck express and so I might report it
Josh Bryce • Oct 26, 2024 at 5:38 pm
I just cant do this anmoyre i try for 30 minutes and it cant work we need to take this in your own hands as student/Workers. This is all affecting us in a lot of negitive ways it wont load for school work, it deletes tabs that are important some sites are blocked that the teachers give us to help us do or OR COMPLETE AN ASSIGNMENT. More in all of the schools handbook online it says therfore we will provide your child with an education well i cant and not mentioning that some people HAVE SUED CK AND THERE SCHOOL for what they have done and its a total invasion of privacy not to mention. This scares me like a lot for the next generation of lerneares strugling to get there work done. Either switch to another tourtous blocker like gogouardian, cause its not as bad as CK AUTHENICATOR.
Deerpark MS • Oct 9, 2024 at 9:36 am
CK – Express sucks and takes 10 minutes to even load up a page we need to do schoolwork. I agree with this completely.
person • Oct 5, 2024 at 3:01 pm
I agree with you ofc ck express is bad
Kayden • Sep 30, 2024 at 12:02 pm
I can´t even work on overdue stuff at homr
Scott kennedy • Sep 23, 2024 at 9:48 am
ck express always delays my time
Liam The Ohioian • Sep 14, 2024 at 4:46 pm
SO TERRIBLE!
sam • Sep 13, 2024 at 10:09 am
ck SUCKS
sam • Sep 12, 2024 at 3:57 pm
proxy is blocked
sam • Sep 12, 2024 at 3:51 pm
I agree with draycen
draycen • Sep 3, 2024 at 11:07 am
I hate ck express. You take to long to load!!!!!!!!!
Emma • Sep 19, 2024 at 10:44 am
SO REAL! I CANT EVEN LOAD IT UP AND WORK WHEN THE TEACHER IS ALREADY DONE WITH THE LECTURE!!!
west • Aug 19, 2024 at 4:32 pm
ck express keeps blocking the websites that our teachers literally told us to use on our projects… what am i supposed to do???? what the hell ck express
me • Aug 16, 2024 at 10:07 am
all I see all day is initializing
you • Aug 16, 2024 at 10:02 am
why does it take soooooo long to initialize like I need to get school done!!!!
karter • May 9, 2024 at 4:35 pm
i can get in
Toni • Apr 30, 2024 at 8:04 pm
what is this stuff
hi • Mar 19, 2024 at 5:39 pm
There are ways around this filtering, the best way to tackle it is by force stopping the android app(through settings) freezing the extension(using an exploit like ltmeat flood). I hope you can find this and I can confirm, this works
Yoseph • Mar 8, 2024 at 7:53 pm
I recently moved into a new city, and here they use CK Express. I literally want to kill myself
The Savior • Mar 4, 2024 at 3:42 pm
Have you ever thought to just use a proxy after CK initializes so that it can’t see what you are doing
Mist • Jun 11, 2024 at 1:47 pm
CK now Blocks proxy and I hear new versions can moderate apps so you cant run a app that’s not approved by admins or something.
K • Feb 28, 2024 at 9:39 pm
LITERALLY CUZ TELL ME WHY ITS BEEN “INITIALIZING” FOR 30 MINUTES
error 404 • Apr 30, 2024 at 8:10 pm
yeah what she or he says
Priest of the church of Anti Ck Express. • Feb 23, 2024 at 9:20 am
Amen, Maybe one day the world will be cleansed of this malice, One day.
CK hater • Feb 21, 2024 at 8:27 am
It’s RUINING MY LIFE SO MUCH! I also need to talk to the children safety company!!!!!!
chandler • Feb 8, 2024 at 9:01 am
THANK YOU BRO
kollin • Jan 30, 2024 at 9:48 am
amen
philip shoebuckle • Jan 1, 2024 at 11:37 am
They block everything for 1 half of the day and then suddenly starts to work at 2 in the morning.
ihateCKandBlocksi • Jun 13, 2024 at 2:52 pm
lucky
bakedbeans • Dec 30, 2023 at 4:06 am
i search up g-mail, what do see? INTIALIZING….. WTH I HATE IT
Toni • Apr 30, 2024 at 8:06 pm
me too I hate this thing
The Protogen CKdestroyer • Nov 1, 2024 at 6:58 pm
I SEARCH UP HI! LITERALY JUST HI! AND IT HAS INITIALIZED *AND* BLOCKED IT
Eric • Dec 29, 2023 at 11:21 pm
EVERY TIME I PLAY A GAME CK-EXPRESS POPS UP AND RUINS IT I CAN’T ESCAPE IT I’m losing my sanity
rebecca • Dec 16, 2023 at 9:14 am
bro one time i had to wait 13 minutes on it until I just shut my computer and went to my phone instead
poopypidgeon • Dec 14, 2023 at 11:13 am
ck blocks everything and needs to go away
bob • Dec 11, 2023 at 3:27 pm
it is the worst when you go to a debate tournament ever try researching police violence with ck express there not fun
eithan • Dec 10, 2023 at 3:07 pm
i hate it it is because they think you watch bad things
Kitkat • Dec 2, 2023 at 5:28 pm
OMG YES ck express is a stupid thing installed on our laptops!! Like for what?????
Almas • Oct 26, 2023 at 10:18 pm
you spitting facts homie.
vienna • Oct 10, 2023 at 8:43 pm
why need it? so many questions that they can’t even answer
Jakob Harrison • Oct 10, 2023 at 4:34 pm
This person is a legend
Madam Kat • Oct 10, 2023 at 6:25 am
I agree CK-EXPRESS SUCKS!!! I’ll be uploading a new video for kinemaster,and it just shuts down!
hummy • Oct 4, 2023 at 9:11 am
preach
cadence • Sep 20, 2023 at 9:31 am
ck-express is really mid it messes up lives you ck-express are a MENACE.
billy • Mar 5, 2024 at 10:31 am
I’m liking my own comment cuz I want to
cadence • Mar 5, 2024 at 10:33 am
I hope you guys realize I just changed my name lol
BOb • Sep 18, 2023 at 10:46 am
Ck express sucks
Chris • Sep 12, 2023 at 9:44 am
ck- express was downloaded to my device only a few minutes ago and it’s already taking 5 minutes to load any new tab. I agree, ck-express is “a shit*y website used by schools and companies to monitor devices, but it usually just slows them down to taking 10 minutes to load pages.” And not to mention it disconnects me from the internet randomly. Go away ck-express I hate you and would literally sacrifice my life to make you go away. I agree with all the comments hating ck-express.
Ben • May 19, 2023 at 8:37 am
I agree. CK express is here to ruin peoples lives and that’s its only purpose here in this world. CK express won’t let you watch YouTube videos of ANY KIND at the time of writing this (Including educational). It slows everything down and just wastes my time.
Kira • May 11, 2023 at 9:25 am
Ck Express is the embodiment of all evil, yet another reason to absolutely despise school, and school chromebooks in particular.
Claire • Apr 19, 2023 at 8:57 am
I don’t go to your school but I know exactly what you are talking about. I hate ck express with a passion. And yes, I know that you are supposed to capitalize it, but it does not deserve capitalization.
Shawnny Cage • Nov 29, 2023 at 9:51 pm
that’s on apple fr
CK-Express when they see texting website : (You are exactly like me, when I hate something that is a proper noun I decapitalize it.)
hi • Apr 3, 2023 at 9:54 pm
bro this is true like litterally im doing a essay for my teacher which is about 11:57 and then boom CK EXPRESS for 2 minutes and now late work
Ghost • Mar 20, 2023 at 2:04 pm
EXACTLY when I am trying to log into my assignments all i see is CK EXPRESS LOADING IN MY SCREAM FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES. LIKE GET OUT OF MY LIFE PLEASE
Ryen • Mar 7, 2023 at 12:31 pm
CK Express L
jack meoff • Mar 9, 2023 at 8:36 pm
CK express = not Halal mode
L • Jun 20, 2023 at 1:26 pm
Fr tho
Sunny • Mar 3, 2023 at 3:11 pm
THIS IS SO REAL I AGREE SO HARD AND I DONT EVE GO TO YOUR SCHOOL I GO TO ANOTHER ONE IN WHICH IT IS ALSO TORMENTED BY CK-EXPRESS
Kyle • Nov 26, 2023 at 4:22 am
Ok but why does it feel the need to check almost every tab before you can get to it? All I’m trying to do is get to google classroom pls for the love of god! And also the fact that if you try to reopen a tab without refreshing it first it can just block access to your internet is literal insanity.
sam • Sep 13, 2024 at 10:10 am
agreed
Noah • Feb 17, 2023 at 4:55 pm
THANK YOU. Even though I don’t go to this school, I feel your pain. I just want to log into my Chromebook without having to wait 5 minutes for CK to load
Violet • Feb 15, 2023 at 2:12 pm
so true though. its not just your schools either. its affecting the chromebooks of st tammany parish too..
Kateryna • Jan 18, 2023 at 4:51 pm
I hate CK Express can’t do anything with it!
Liam • Jan 3, 2023 at 11:01 pm
I HATE CK EXPRESS. I can’t play my games anymore. 🙁
Marcus • Oct 13, 2023 at 3:31 pm
I HATE CK EXPRESS. I can’t play games or meet with my friends. Some needs to get rid or sue them I think it’s an invasion of our privacy and freedom.☹
Cameron • Nov 25, 2023 at 11:26 pm
It’s not an invasion of privacy, as much as I hate CK express, school districts have the right to manage the content seen on school Chromebooks. We do not OWN the Chromebooks, and if used for school, schools have the right to manage the Chromebooks, even with CK express.
rando • Dec 13, 2023 at 12:40 pm
They installed it on the Chromebook I own
namor • Apr 18, 2024 at 9:14 am
wait what?
Liam The Ohioian • Sep 23, 2024 at 8:55 pm
that was me