Dedicated to Plantius Reginald Angeleyes III, beloved son and nephew
sleepless nights, the monetary and emotional toil that the raising of a young child can have on a human being. It is because of the selfish habits of these parents that the strain of being a plant parent has been so under-appreciated in the most recent decades.
Singer Tom Petty once noted “The waiting is the hardest part.” While there is minimal evidence to suggest that Tom Petty enjoyed any plants outside of hemp, it is clear that this song was written from the perspective of a plant parent. The worst part of being a plant parent is after you put the seed in the ground, you have to wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. Unsure if your little buddy is ok. Trapped all alone, in the dark confines of the soil. His shell, once his home, now serves as only a coffin for a young sprout.
Assuming you are a good enough plant raiser to get your plant out of the soil, you have the near impossible task of keeping him/her growing into a mature plant. Human parents always like to complain about how babies make so much noise in order to communicate. Their children are told not to cry, but to use their words. Plant parents do not get the luxury of communicating with their child on any level. They must be so in tune with their child’s needs. On the exact wavelength-not giving too much or too little of anything their plant needs.
As a human child grows up, it starts to spread its metaphorical wings and leave the “nest” of their parents (except for the legends who live eternally in their parent’s basement.) Alas, plant parents do not get off as easily. Once your plant is mature enough, you just have to take even more care of it. Switch it out of its pot into a bigger one. If it is a large plant, move it outside. While all of your friends are kicking up on some beach, somewhere, you still have to do back breaking work to take care of your son or daughter.
But there are also benefits to growing a plant. While a human child will likely grow into a snooty brat, a plant will only give. Think of all the worst people ever; Hitler, Stalin, Mousillini, or Jar Jar Binks. None of these people were ever plants. Plants can give you food, they can provide refreshing scents, they can love you back in a way a human never can.
David Bowie once said “Let’s dance.” And while this has nothing to do with plants, I think it is an important thing to keep in mind. But no matter where life may lead us, it is important to remember the unique sacrifices that plant parents make, (and maybe dance a little bit along the way.)
