Day One: Start at the beginning. You have to pick out which girl you’re going to get. This shouldn’t be too difficult for a super stud muffin like you though. You basically can have your pick. Once you have your pick locked in, it’s time to show off your moves. There’s no time for icebreaker questions, you only have nine days after this. Every word counts. Try calling her things like “babycakes” or “pookiemallow.” Chicks dig that kind of stuff. With a line like “‘Sup baby cakes? How about a date,” you are sure to have her eating out of your hand. All you have to do is set a date.
Day Two: Movie date Night. Unfortunately, the odds are whatever high class film you guys end up going to, she probably won’t understand it. At least not as well as you do. I mean, yeah, “The Godfather” is about a bunch of mobsters, but she won’t understand what the end really means. I would not leave anything up to chance. Fortunately, as the independent man you are, you have an entire tool belt equipped with tools (duh) to help you in these situations. One of these handy tools is the ability to “man-splain” things. Make sure to use this fully to your advantage during whatever movie you go to.
Day Three: After last night’s inevitable success, it is probably best to lay low for a bit. You don’t want to seem emotionally attached, or something gross like that. Make sure to text her at least once or twice. Now would be a good time to break out those ice breaker questions. Don’t use any basic ones like, “What is your favorite ice cream flavor?” That might come across as superficial and fake. Instead try something like, “What first attracted you to me?” or “What do you think is my crowning achievement?” Keep her interested in you. You are the best thing to happen to her anyways. What else would she even want to talk about?
Day Four: You should probably go to a football or basketball game with her, depending on what is in season. Hang out in the student section and cheer on the Pats! Of course, she will probably have no idea what is happening. Try to be patient with her. She (hopefully) does not get out of the kitchen much. She will be far too embarrassed to actually admit any of this to you, so make sure to explain everything to her in detail whenever anything happens.
Day Five: Now that you are half way through the 10 day period, it’s time to lay on the heat. Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity and get her a gift, something that says “I love you this many dollars worth.” Because the female brain is so easily tricked, this is also an excellent opportunity to give yourself a gift. For example, getting her a gift card for a restaurant she will probably end up taking you out. It’s not like she hangs out with anybody else.
Day Six: Take her out. Like for food. Somewhere classy. Somewhere expensive (sorry, no Culver’s.) Do your best to keep her entertained. Be yourself, (your real self, not the ninja you pretend to be when you think nobody is looking.) This will almost make up for the fact when you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom when you’re done eating. This is a little trick I like to call “lying.” When her attention is away from you, book it out of the doors as fast as you can, leaving her with the check. And rideless.
Day Seven: After that little check mishap yesterday, she’s going to be a little bit peeved. Just take this day off to give things time to cool off.
Day Eight: It is make up time. If she does not take you back right away then a.) she is a fool passing up the chance of a lifetime, and b.) she is going to need some extra convincing. Spend all the money that you saved up by not paying for her dinner and buy her something amazing, like a car, or an airplane. (If either of these are out of your price range, consider the “Hot Wheels” variety an adequate substitute.) This, along with a healthy dose of reminding her how giving you a second chance is the morally correct thing to do, should get her back.
Day Nine: The 10 days are almost up. You have to make your move today. Take her out to another fancy dinner. Her expectations are now so low, that even a mediocre dinner will seem incredible. After you blow her away with a stellar dinner, it’s time to “get the girl.” Simply asking her to be your girlfriend is too vague and leaves too much room for interpretation. Get the entire staff of the restaurant to help ask with a grand song and dance number. Putting her on the spot like this, it’s impossible for her to say no.
Day Ten: Congratulations, you officially have a girlfriend!
