In the news, I am almost certain you have heard the term “alternative facts” thrown around. So, we decided today to make sure you knew all the facts on important events in history.

Anne Sullivan

By Julia Breukelman

The side of Principal Valerie Fox you may not know. When she was just a young lady she went to the Hy-Vee on 57th and Cliff. She overheard a distressed girl complain about the education system because the girl was not being properly educated. Val grabbed the little girl, looked in her straight in the eyeballs and said “You can fix it.” That little girl grew up to be Anne Sullivan.

How LHS was made

By Julia Breukelman

When Abraham Lincoln was exploring the Wild West with Lewis and Clark, they stumbled upon a sacred land known to the locals as Sioux Falls, SD. The ground was unlike any other. The Big Sioux River had a stench that they had never smelled in their whole lives. The Falls brought the gentlemen to their knees; they knew that there must be a God. The three great men had to leave their mark on the cherished soil. Lewis built a waterpark with many slides and named it Wild Water West, for he was infatuated with all things west and overpriced. Clark founded Scheels for the sole purpose of building a ferris wheel that never has a line because no one ever goes on it, because why would someone go on it? Most importantly, Abraham Lincoln saw fit to build the greatest high school with his own two hands.

What really happened on the Titanic

By Molly McIntyre

The year was 1912. Katie Kroeze boarded onto the Titanic with nothing but a suitcase full of Laffy Taffys and her favorite Nickelback CDs. Two minutes later, Leonardo Dicaprio boarded with nothing but a few pencils and two pairs of underwear. They were ready to go. Neither of them knew each other, but soon they would fall deeply in love.

Leonardo was with his family. They were very rich. They owned a ketchup producing facility where they invented ketchup that were made without tomatoes. Each of them owned an Apple Watch and entered six boat races a year. On the other hand, Katie only wore potato bags because she could not afford much else. She found her niche at the local diner where she wore roller skates and corrected her customers on their grammar. Katie hated the oxford comma.

They were from two different types of households but they had one thing in common: their love for pop punk.

One fate-filled night, they met in the spaghetti room. It was a special room on the ship for people who loved Italian food, especially spaghetti. Leo was intrigued by her type of clothing. It was much different than his Nike elites, Jordan sandals and monochromatic sweatsuit.

In the background, they heard the faintest trace of pop-punk and both started headbanging into their spaghetti. Lost in the sauce, they saw each other across the room and smiled.

“Hey,” Leo said with a smirk on his face. “Do you want to come back to my place and listen to the Descendants?”

Because Katie was mute, she could not respond but she talked to him with her hands and luckily, Leo knew sign language too. They went back to his room and listened to music. They spent hours after hours popping new vinyl on to the record player when finally Katie mustered up the courage to ask him a question.

“Can you draw me?”

He agreed to draw. He took out his pencils and started to draw when the worst possible

thing could have happened.

Water filled the room. Alarms sounded. Ketchup spilled everywhere. Neither of them knew what was going on. They start to panic and sprint to the deck. It turns out the titanic hit another titanic and both of them were sinking.

Quickly, Katie and Leo try to find a way out. All the lifeboats have been taken and hundreds of people are frantically searching for ways out. Some end their lives, some jump into the frigid water and chance it. Leo screams to Katie.

“Katie! I found a sled we can use.”

“But aren’t sleds for snow?” Katie asks.

Leo, from Texas, doesn’t know what snow is. But both of them risk it anyways. They get into the sled and find their way to the ocean. They both made it out alive.

“I’m so glad we are okay,” said Katie. “We can get back home and start our new lives together.”

Leo became frantic. He was just looking for something casual, nothing serious. He thought Katie knew that. He had no other way out but to swim for it.

Leo jumped out of the sled into the water and tried to make a run for it. He didn’t make it far. Out of nowhere, a shark came along and ate him in one swift motion.

Katie sits on the sled, dumbfounded by what has happened. Katie becomes so traumatized she isn’t able to enjoy pop punk anymore and can’t stand the smell of ketchup. For the rest of her life, she only ate mustard on her hot dogs and listened to the pop hits on the radio.