I’ve been told that I look irrationally pissed off in the hallways, flaunting a constant facial expression that suggests maybe I just discovered that my car was keyed, or that the economy is on the verge of collapse. However, I’m usually feeling pretty upbeat and like to consider myself to be a pretty nice person. In fact, I’ve been told that it was a surprise to learn that I’m actually decently laid back, considering that, apparently, my resting face screams nothing other than “I hate you.”

This being said, I was walking through the hallway last week in upper E wing when I was simultaneously backpack checked and door checked, which knocked me backwards a couple of paces. After a nasty string of words passed through my thoughts and I caught myself scowling, the question was once again posed: Am I pissed off? That’s the very moment that it dawned on me: I’m a senior that gets pushed around by freshman on the daily. And no, I’m not being bullied.

You’d think that as a 5’3 124 lbs girl I’d simply slip through the cracks of hallway traffic, which seems fairly easy in theory. However, because I’m constantly making eye contact with backpacks and elbows, there’s no way I can maneuver through the hordes of spaghetti kids, like a meatball forever wading in a heaping plate of pasta.

Being knee-deep in a crowded hallway filled with the nightmarish adolescents that I, too, am afraid of, for some is a problem easily solved by pushing past people and leaving the stupidly slow groups of people behind. Because I’m of the smaller variety, this isn’t an option and I’m forced to be late to classes that require a trip from upper E wing to A wing (ahem, Mr. Bergan). This most likely is the indefinite cause for looking consistently agitated, because something about being genuinely concerned about being late and/or trampled frustrates me.

Of course, some solutions for speeding up hallway traffic have been proposed. Because apparently natural selection isn’t a humane way to downsize the booming number of students at LHS, another high school in Sioux Falls is in the works. Another inhumane solution dreamed up by yours truly includes turning friend groups against each other until nobody has anyone to walk with in the hallway, which ultimately would take care of the clusters of people stopping in the hallway to talk, like a clot of blood cells triggering a stroke in a weak, old man.

This, too, was turned down by the LHS administration. Mike Rounds, John Thune, Kristi Noem and Dr. Maher can all expect letters in the mail from me.

In conclusion, yes, I am pissed off.