I am proud to live to see the #metoo movement. I completely support it and encourage everyone affected by sexual assault to speak out. But I feel as if the objective of the movement is sometimes changed or altered to be something that it isn’t.

Recent accusations against Aziz Ansari, my favorite male-comedian of all time, created some of these doubts in me. I always find myself defending victims of sexual assault. After the accusations against James Franco came out, I refused to watch and support his work. But something with the situation of Ansari is holding me back. Maybe it’s my bias, preconceived opinion of Ansari, or maybe our culture has not given enough in-depth teachings of the standards of assault.

Ansari was accused of sexual misconduct after a woman came out about her experience on a date with him. After the date, the two returned to Ansari’s place where they began sexual intercourse. The victim claims that she did not want to participate and Ansari did not ask for consent before he began kissing her. They stopped a few times but then began again until the women decided she wanted to leave. The woman claimed that she was giving Ansari clear physical forms of non-consent, but does not claim how she did so. No form of verbal reluctance was spoken, though, which leaves many questioning the validity of this “assault.”

The next day, the woman contacted Ansari and said that she felt violated and soon after publicly came out about the situation.

I don’t think that what Ansari did was ok. Not verbally asking someone for their consent before continuing sexual intercourse is not ok. But I also think that the women in this situation needed to speak up and tell Ansari what she didn’t and what she did want. Part of the #metoo movement is to be a strong, outspoken woman in our everyday lives. If we do not want to have sexual relations with a man, we need to verbally say “no,” and leave. As men and women, we need to have a clear understanding of what draws the line and what we want when it comes to sex.

I think that the woman in this situation had something important to share. I think that she had the platform to raise awareness about the importance of verbally consenting. But I don’t think that this situation should be one in the #metoo movement.