Climbing Mount Everest without an oxygen tank. Not crying to Post Malone’s new album. These two things are synonymous with the word impossible. As is being able to finish out the school year.

The weather is beginning to warm and the birds are beginning to sing their songs. All of the fall couples are breaking up. Prom was last weekend. Grad party invitations are being handed out in the halls. Everyone’s minds are on just about everything but school. So how do you stay focused and power through?

You don’t. You just can’t. Your failure is inevitable. Hopefully you kept up your grades during the first semester and third quarter because from now on out your grades are SOL. One by one you forget to do your assignments and eventually they pile up until you’re staring face-to-face with a Mount Kilimanjaro of your procrastination. Slower and slower you are consumed by the overwhelming desire to quit school and become a stripper. I mean face it, on average some strippers make more than lawyers do. Why not just send it and make some money?

With the amount of work the teachers have piled on us the past month, it seems as though they WANT us to fail. At the beginning of the year I used to judge the kids who constantly arrived to school 30 minutes late with a blue pass in their hand.

“Sorry there was traffic,” they mutter as the smell of cannabis sinks off of them.  

Now I envy them. Not that I want to smoke weed or anything, don’t worry Mom and Dad.

School is just too much so I have decided to hit the gym and hit the corner in order to build my life savings. Watch out Pretty Woman, here I come.