Awarding Kyle Homecoming king was the least the students of LHS could do to show a token of respect to a kid who left a mediocre impact on their lives.

Kyle overwhelmingly won the Homecoming crown with 200 more votes than the next closest candidate. This stat came as no surprise to Kyle’s parents, David and Georgina.

“Well, as most people know, we wrote up a plan for Kyle to win Homecoming king when he was just a fetus, and [David] and my dreams are finally coming true,” said Georgina.

“I’m not really that proud of Kyle for winning, it was kind of all us,” said David.

The lingering moments before the decision of Homecoming king was announced were quite anticlimactic, as Kyle and the rest of LHS knew without a doubt he would win.

“It wasn’t really that nerve-racking considering I knew I was going to win the entire time,” said Kyle. “The tough part was faking that I was surprised to be crowned king, but I think I pulled it off.”

In light of the fact that Kyle was certain he would be named LHS’ Homecoming king, his speech was still completely unconvincing.

“Wow, I can’t believe it guys,” said Kyle during his acceptance speech. “I really just cannot believe this.”

Kyle has encouraged students to vote for his brother as 2030 Homecoming king, and his sister as 2032 Homecoming queen.

“Winning Homecoming royalty is in our DNA,” said Kyle. “It’s really just a family business.”