With boredom at an all-time high, bored youngins turn to doing their schoolwork.

In the start of the new decade, Coronavirus has engulfed the globe in germs and missing toilet paper. While adults become anxious and frantically try to outrun death, today’s teens remain lethargic. They have cutely named this phenomenon “Coronacation,” while Boomers are calling them “Quaranteenagers.” When news came out that school would be out to encourage social distancing, students thought they were on top of the world.

“I was on top of the world,” said LHS senior Magpie Railways. “I have Instantham, Snopchop, Tam Tok. And I just got Animal Trucking: New Horizons on the Bientendo Swatch! I can distract myself for a week until this ‘rona thing is gone. What could go wrong?”

Little did Railways know that it would all go wrong. All those teenage nicknacks lasted her four days. Railways also did not expect that the rest of the school year would be cancelled either. Her friends on her favorite social media platforms would leave her deserted in her direct messages. All of them had better things to do because her friends are much more rich and successful. The withdrawal of mental activity eventually led to checking her Google Classroom. She found five missing Latin assignments and did them all before the day was over. The same thing happened to LHS sophomore Mike Truk, who is now fluent in Chinese and did not take a class for it. 

“I don’t know why I did this,” said Truk. “I was just so tired of sleeping in and watching horrible Netflux documentaries, I became a nerd.”

These nerds are not the end of this situation, with teens around the world sighing in boredom. For example, two juniors at Ridge High School created an entire website dedicated to activities for teens to do while  self-quarantining. YouTubers have also been making profitable use of this time through posting videos of “DIYs and hacks” to do while in quarantine. Tam Tok has created the #Coughchallenge, and as the name suggests, you cough loudly in your hands at Walmart to scare the oldies. Yet, all this riveting content is not enough for the youth of today, as they have used homework to fulfill their needs. 

“I never expected this,” Railways said. “I even go to those idiotic Zoom meetings my teachers pressured me into! This is all ludicrous!” After the interview, Railways finished her freshman year online at Kale University.