At this point, we are all tired of hearing about COVID-19. We are all sick of hearing about the events canceled due to the pandemic, the hospital overflows, and the death count updates. We all just want this nightmare to end. But even with the power of medical science and vaccines coming to our rescue, new feelings of despair have emerged.

I managed to get the Pfizer vaccine, and I must admit, other than the headache, the worst side effect is the agonizing guilt. Despite our government’s best efforts, the vaccine rollout plan has run into all sorts of complications. First, there were dose shortages, then there were delays. In short, the promise of salvation was over-promised. Back in mid-December, out of the 30 million doses sent out across the country, only about 11 million people in the U.S. received them. Distribution started out incredibly slow and has only now begun to pick up the pace. 

I recently got my second dose, and I noticed only one out of the four vaccine stations was up and running. Apparently, the clinic was running out of doses. At that moment when the nurse jabbed me in the arm, I could not help but feel that I was taking a vaccine away from someone else who needed it. I thought I would feel more enthusiastic. Getting vaccinated is the first step to getting back to normal, to finally put an end to the virus that has made everyone’s lives miserable for the last year. But that feeling of joy never came, only a feeling of guilt. I am a relatively healthy young person, do I really need this shot?  Am I putting a more vulnerable person at risk? I felt like I was being selfish, and it seems that I am not the only one. This “vaccine guilt” has lingered with many individuals after receiving their shots. Jim C. Jackson, director of behavioral health at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Tennessee, told Verywell Health that the phenomenon is similar to survivors’ guilt, despite that getting the vaccine is ultimately a good thing for society. This type of distorted thinking isn’t healthy, and it’s important to not let these negative thoughts consume you.

What helps is to remind yourself that being vaccinated is contributing to protecting others, not just you. Herd immunity can be reached if at least 70% of a population is immune, and with more people vaccinated, the closer we are to achieving it. If you feel guilty after getting your shots, it means you actually care about the people around you, so instead of getting hung up on those feelings of shame, try to realize you are helping others too. According to the CDC data tracker, about 19% of our population is fully vaccinated, so we need to keep inching toward that 70% goal. Also, keep in mind that it isn’t selfish to look after your own well-being. You should never neglect your own health or feel ashamed for taking care of yourself.