Does it feel like every time you open Snapchat or Instagram there is a new national day that you have never heard of being posted? Well, this is no coincidence. There are over 1,500 different national days for just 365 days in the calendar year, meaning that each day you have causes for celebration. Some of these days, though, are far from deserving of their own national day. These are my picks for each month’s dumbest national days:

January: 

My pick for January’s dumbest national day is national nothing day, which occurs each January 16th. This day seems to have no real purpose or way to celebrate it. Additionally, there is a one in seven chance that January 16th will be Martin Luther King Junior Day, effectively rendering this holiday obsolete.

Honorable mentions: 

National Personal Trainer Awareness Day (Jan 2)

National Kiss a Ginger Day (Jan 12)

National Hot Buttered Rum Day (Jan 17)

National Fruitcake Toss Day (Jan 21)

National Backwards Day (Jan 31)

February:

February’s dumbest national day is easily February 5th: National Shower With a Friend Day. While hypothetically a good way to save water, I doubt that this day is widely celebrated. This day is apparently supposed to be a way to educate people on the benefits of showering with filtered chlorine-free water, but how this in any way relates to this day’s title is lost on me.

Honorable Mentions:

National Cut the Cord Day (Feb 7)

National Home Warranty Day (Feb 8)

National Flag of Canada Day (Feb 15)

National Do a Grouch a Favor Day (Feb 16)

World Spay Day (Feb 28)

March:

March’s dumbest day is National Dadgum That’s Good Day, March 1st. While I appreciate a day dedicated to excessive gluttony, I do not think I have ever heard this phrase before researching this story.

Honorable mentions:

National Soup it Forward Day (Mar 3)

National Mario Day (Mar 10)

National Johnny Appleseed Day (Mar 11)

National Joe Day (Mar 27)

National Turkey Neck Soup Day (Mar 30)

April: Falling on April 4th, National Walk Around Things Day has got to be the lamest holiday yet, with seemingly the only way to celebrate being participating in something that most do anyways, not running into things directly in front of us.

Honorable Mentions:

National Tweed Day (Apr 3)

National Read a Roadmap Day (Apr 5)

National Reach as High as You Can Day (Apr 14)

National Hug a Plumber Day (Apr 25)

National Hairball Awareness Day (Apr 28)

May: If I catch anyone correcting my grammar on National Speak In Full Sentences Day, May 31st, it will not end well.

Honorable Mentions:

National Two Different Colored Shoes Day (May 3)

National Lumpy Rug Day (May 3)

National Have a Coke Day: (May 8)

National Lost Sock Memorial Day (May 9)

National Pack Rat Day (May 17)

June: June makes the mistake of giving a national holiday to one of the worst parts of modern society. National Mascot Day falls on June 17th. There is nothing redeemable about these freaks of nature. When I see a mascot I do not feel joy, I feel pity thinking about the poor worker trapped in that prison of fur, likely getting paid scraps for the brutal job they have been given. Back in the day, mascots used to just be some guy or a live animal. I am strongly in favor of bringing this back.

Honorable Mentions: 

National Go Barefoot Day (Jun 1)

National Earl Day (Jun 9)

National Day Of The Gong (Jun 21)

International Caps Lock Day (Jun 28)

National OOTD Day (Jun 30)

July: July’s dumbest national day is an affront to one of the most basic social norms we have: July 28th, National Talk in an Elevator Day. I promise that not a single human being has walked into an elevator with a stranger looking for any form of conversation. Why try and fix what is not broken?

Honorable Mentions:

National Workaholics Day (Jul 5)

National Seven-Eleven Day (Jul 11)

National Get Out of the Doghouse Day (Jul 17)

National Get Gnarly Day (Jul 28)

National Father-In-Law Day (Jul 30)

August: There seems to be a trend with national days in that whoever creates them feels the need to make sure that no inanimate object feels left out. Where this really got on my nerves was with International Traffic Light Day, August 5th. Not only did these basic machines get a national holiday, but apparently they get international recognition as well. 

Honorable mentions:

National Wiggle Your Toes Day (Aug 6)

National Middle Child Day (Aug 12)

International Lefthanders Day (Aug 13)

National I Love My Feet Day (Aug 17)

International Read Comics in Public Day (Aug 28)

September: September 3rd, National U.S. Bowling League Day does not celebrate the admittedly fun sport of bowling, but the losers who play professionally. This day serves as a reminder of the benefits of bullying.

Honorable Mentions:

National Chicken Boy Day (Sep 1)

National Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day (Sep 8)

National Hot Cross Bun Day (Sep. 11)

National Report Medicare Fraud Day (Sep. 12)

Math Storytelling Day (Sep. 25)

October: National Pro-life Cupcake Day falls on October 9th and that is all I have to say on the matter.

Honorable Mentions: 

National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day (Oct 16)

Ipod Day (Oct 23)

Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day (Oct 25)

National Financial Crime Fighter Day (Oct 26)

National Trick Or Treat Day (Oct 28)

November: International Check Your Wipers Day falls on November 16th and is a day dedicated to checking if your car’s windshield wipers are defective. Frankly, I feel that this is something that is pretty simple to do without needing a specific day dedicated to it, but hey, what do I know?

Honorable Mentions: 

National Deviled Egg Day (Nov 2)

National Chicken Lady Day (Nov 4)

European Antibiotic Awareness Day (Nov 18)

National Carbonated Beverage With Caffeine Day (Nov 19)

National Eat a Cranberry Day (Nov 23)

December: International Universal Health Coverage Day falls on December 12th, and we are the only first-world country that can not celebrate it. Ways to celebrate include questioning the systems that got us where we are today and asking why the land of the free does not apply to our hospital bills.

Honorable mentions:

Faux Fur Friday (Dec 1)

Bifocals At The Monitor Liberation Day (Dec 1)

Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (Dec 8)

Barbie And Barney Backlash Day (Dec 16)

Answer The Telephone Like Buddy The Elf Day (Dec 19)