Lincoln High School Statesman

How to survive Valentine’s Day alone, yet again

People in a stock photo raise their hands.

By Kat Steffen

People in a stock photo raise their hands.

Kat Steffen, Staff Writer

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It is that time of the year again- when love is in the air and heart-shaped chocolate boxes line the aisles at Walgreens, but you are still on the hunt for your Prince (or princess) Charming.

Here are nine tips for how to prepare for this next single season:

  1. Make up a significant other. They can go to another school and live on 123 Fake Street. It is a full-proof plan.
  2. Eat your feelings. Whether it’s chocolate, nachos, pickles or even eggs, we have all been there.
  3. Treat yo self! Have a spa day, relax, do your nails or do a face mask.
  4. Sleep. Wrap yourself up in your blankets like a burrito and doze off. Be risky and play nap roulette: Do not set an alarm to wake yourself up. You could wake up in two hours or in three days.
  5. Hang out with friends. Do something fun that your friends and you have not done before. You could go: bowling, ice skating or bury a goldfish.
  6. Try to make it your best Valentine’s Day yet. Dress up cute, compliment three people and make it a good day.
  7. Binge watch a show on Netflix. Finish a series, start a new one or just rewatch “The Office” for the 4th time.
  8. Cast a spell on your crush so they will fall in love with you. Drink some eye of noot, push a red-haired virgin that is 16 years old into a volcano or just simply sell your first born child.  
  9. Go on a date with your dog. A dog’s love is the only constant in this cruel world.

Just remember that valentine’s day is just another superficial day that society has created so high school couples that will be ‘together forever’ can flex their love on everyone by making out in the hallways. If you are alone that is perfectly okay. Most people around you are in the same boat.

Except for me, I have a boyfriend so do not hit me up in the comments.

 

  

Author
Kat Steffen, Staff Writer

LHS junior Kat Steffen is a first-year staff member of the Statesman. Steffen often enjoys virgin piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. She is...

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