LHS without bear club is unBEARable

Join Bear Club to be enlightened on Bears as they are dying due to Climate Change :)

edited by Kat Steffen

Join Bear Club to be enlightened on Bears as they are dying due to Climate Change :)

Kat Steffen, Staff Writer

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During my three long years at LHS there has always been one announcement that has left me baffled: Robert Grimm’s ambiguous statement about Bear Club. The only thing I could figure out about Bear Club is that , it seemed to be a club with only one rule. Do not talk about Bear Club.

After my extensive research and interrogations I now hope to help other puzzled students. Bear club is where the bros can chillax as they are enlightened about mans four legged best friend. No, not your mom. Bears.

“We talk about Bears, what makes them interesting, what makes them unique,” said Ethan Behrend.

Here are my favorite bear facts that I picked up on my quest:

A grizzly bear’s jaw can crush a bowling ball.

Canada is home to 60% of the worlds bear population.

Bears are omnivores.

Polar bears are the world’s largest on land predator, standing at 11 feet tall and weighing 1,700 lbs.

A bear’s favorite video game is Battlestar Galactica and they enjoy to chomp on beets while they game (take my word, no need to fact check ;))

Bear Club has their own secretive subculture at LHS. They are run by their Prime Minisbear, their Treasure Bear controls their finances, the Secrebeary schedules their appointments and their Elder Bears make the final decisions.

Last summer at the Great Plains Zoo a bear almost broke out of its exhibit by climbing up the fence.

“One of our members got loose, and the zoo didn’t handle the situation as well as we could’ve, we could’ve tamed the bear instead of tranquilizing it,”  said Behrend.

Next year Bear Club will be revived, therefore you should actually listen to the announcements so you know when and where the meetings will be held.

Viva los ozos!