In all of the 16 years that I have been alive, I have never watched through a whole episode of hit NBC sitcom “The Office.” With the amount that everyone around me raved about the show, I felt like I may be missing out on something. 

I decided to watch a few episodes to determine exactly what I was missing. Apparently, it was not much. I did not find myself enjoying the show or even appreciating it. The show itself is not good. This is not a new take, or even an unpopular one, but I was so angry about this revelation that I then decided to write an acrostic poem about it. 

O is for overrated. I think we all saw this one coming. “The Office” has been nominated for 42 Emmys. No, you did not read that wrong. 42. Although the show has admittedly only won five, I still believe that is an amount too large for a sitcom about a psycho boss and his ragtag band of misfits.

F is for funny (not). This show is not funny. In my research, I watched 16 episodes of “The Office.” I tallied the number of times I laughed, chuckled or even giggled a little. That tally added up to 13, which is a little less than a laugh a show. One episode of “The Office” is around 21 minutes long. One laugh per 21 minutes is a pitiful ratio, in my opinion. While I can see why the show’s sense of humor may appeal to some, it tends to be dry, unfunny and downright repetitive. How many times can Jim prank Dwight before it gets boring? Once. The answer is once.

F is for far-fetched. The idea that a boss as bad as Michael Scott could remain head of his branch for so long without one complaint to corporate or any of his superiors is simply unrealistic. I know that I will probably get attacked for this statement, and someone will say that he actually was reported to an executive or member of corporate one time in episode 27 of season eight, but to be honest, I simply do not care. That man should have been fired the second episode, and we all know it. I also know that TV shows are not supposed to be realistic. But if I want to watch a far-fetched office dramedy, I will watch (the far superior) Parks and Rec, gosh darnit!

I is for inappropriate office romances. Seriously, does everyone on this show end up with one of their coworkers?
C is for confusing. How am I supposed to follow a show when every episode has a completely different premise? None of them seem to string together in a way that makes any kind of sense..I will admit that I picked up the show in the middle of a season, but I would still like to think that I am right. Every single episode almost completely ignores the events of the previous, except for a select few that tend to be two-part episodes. Although this type of show may be appealing to those who prefer not to focus when watching television, I personally enjoy a show with substance.

E is for egregious. The definition of egregious in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is “outstandingly bad; shocking.” I believe that this word is the best descriptor of this show, due to everything that I have mentioned above. 

To conclude, do not even try to change my mind about “The Office.” It is unlikely you will be successful and you will probably just make me unnecessarily angry.