LHS math department scandal: if we can’t trust his pencils can we even trust his credentials?


Lilli Eppinga

Photo leaked from secret security footage set up in Jansen’s room, catching him in the act.

Madeleine Kemper, Online Editor-in-Chief

After years of convincing everyone of his religious use of the high-quality writing instrument, Paper Mate’s Mirado Black Warrior, it has come to light that LHS math teacher Jared Jansen actually uses the knock-off version, produced by a lesser pencil distributor. 

It was well-known to all of Jansen’s current and former students about his infatuation with the most pristine pencil to ever hit the market. As one of those students, I had a first-hand experience of his obsession with the graphite’s effortless trace, flowing smoothly across the page. 

Although many speculations circulated about Jansen’s impropriety, close co-worker and now former best friend Eric Rice was the first to confirm the rumors. 

“Something just didn’t seem right,” said Rice. “We were sharing our favorite equations of the week like we usually do when [Jansen] tried to erase a mistake on his paper. The eraser left a single smudge mark, very uncharacteristic of the Mirado Black Warrior.”

Following this discovery, Rice approached Jansen with his suspicions, and that is when the whole truth came out. 

“I tried to keep up the charade, but I just couldn’t anymore,” said Jansen as he was being escorted off the premises. 

Following this brief conversation with Jansen, he confirmed that despite the scandal, at this time, he has no intentions of resigning. 

The uncovering of this shocking news not only affected the staff, but the students at LHS as well, including those who, at one time, crowded around his desk in the corner to witness the magic that we all thought was the Warrior at work. 

“I feel like I don’t know anything anymore,” said LHS junior Jaidyn Sherman. 

Moving forward, all those who knew him and were influenced by him are learning to adjust.

“I just don’t know if I can ever get over this transgression,” said Rice. “There’s a fine line, and it’s clearly been crossed.”

*Editor’s note: if this revelation has created  trust issues amongst the student body, they are encouraged to contact their designated counselor.