Top 10 ways to spend your summer

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original image pixabay / Wikimedia Commons

Coming up with the perfect summer bucket list is a daunting challenge, but I believe I have crafted the perfect one.

Avery Blackman, Perspectives Editor

With only a few weeks of the school year remaining, summer will be here before we know it, meaning it’s time for everyone to plan out their summer days. No one wants to feel like they are wasting even a single day of this precious summer break, so it is of great importance to have certain goals in mind. I have taken the liberty of composing a summer bucket list, if you will, which includes what I believe to be the most valuable ways to spend your time this summer.

 

  1. Go on a walking tour of the U.S.: No, I take the occasional walk on an extended road trip. If you haven’t walked the entire length of the distance between the East and West coasts of the country, are you really proud to be an American?
  2. Knit yourself a new wardrobe: The best way to impress your peers next school year is to pull up on the first day with an outfit entirely unique to you, because wearing store-bought clothes is so 2020.
  3. Figure out how to hibernate: Summer is too hot and food is too expensive to justify living life regularly from June to August. Why not retreat to a cold underground space and conserve as much energy as possible by hibernation?
  4. Launch a presidential campaign: Sure, you can’t legally become president in the U.S. until you’re 35, but you might as well get a headstart on the campaigning process and give yourself a solid amount of time to raise money and get your name out there!
  5. Swim in the Sioux River: Summer break is the perfect opportunity to strengthen your immune system. Everyone else will be jealous when they are infected with a new strain of COVID-19 but your immune system has built up immunity to the worst diseases Sioux Falls has to offer.
  6. Build a paper mache house using your own saliva: The appeal in this one speaks for itself.
  7. Paint your roof: If you’re feeling artistically inspired, paint a nice picture or write an inspiring message for pilots to read when they’re flying over your house. If you’re lucky, maybe it will show up on Google Earth. 
  8. Braid your eyelashes: I can’t guarantee that this is actually possible, but it seems like a fun challenge and a great way to become Internet famous if you can somehow figure out how to get the braids to stay.
  9.  Steep your own tea using leaves from your backyard: Everyone loves to support local food companies, so you might just be able to make quite a profit selling tea you can accurately claim is one of a kind, with especially enticing earthy flavor undertones.
  10. Count down every second until the new school year starts: Anytime not spent in school is ultimately a waste of living, so might as well try to hypnotize yourself counting well into the millions.