Vague vampire movie

Netflix’s new movie “Night Teeth” just hit audiences around the world.

Roger Ebert

Netflix’s new movie “Night Teeth” just hit audiences around the world.

Brooks Houwman, Staff Writer

Have you ever asked the question: Why is there not a movie where gangs and vampires were combined? No? Well too bad, Netflix dropped “Night Teeth” on Oct. 20,  2021, and the incredibly interesting-sounding name correctly matches the incredibly interesting movie. “Night Teeth” takes place in Los Angeles with the main character Benny, played by Jorge Lendenborg Jr., as a chauffeur for two mysterious women. Benny wants nothing more than to provide a better life for his grandmother and eventually a very nice car. 

After coming home one night, Benny learns his brother needs his help to chauffeur two women around while he looks for his missing girlfriend. When Benny begins to take the girls, Blaire played by Debby Ryan and Zoe played by Lucy Fry, around he quickly notices there may be something off about the two. The girls tell him he needs to bring them to five different parties by the end of the night. While sitting in the car at the second location a cop shows up searching cars near Benny’s. Benny finds the girls and opens a door revealing two men strapped to a table with Blaire and Zoe on each side of them. What is even worse about this scene is the blood running down each girl’s face and the holes in each man’s neck.

The plot of “Night Teeth” is almost as horrendous as the name. An area in Los Angeles called Boyle Heights was designated for centuries-old vampires. Separated into five groups, each one with a boss, the vampires and humans live in peace for years until a power-hungry vampire decides to ruin it all. There is no other context as to why he wanted all of Boyle Heights other than that the power-hungry vampire was “bored”. That is right, the plot of the story all revolves around the fact the vampire was bored. Now the name of this movie, “Night Teeth,” what does that even mean? When I first heard about the movie and its name, I thought to myself “Wow, this must be a joke. This movie must be awful.” Turns out my incredible inferring skills from E.L.A. were correct. The only lesson I gained from “Night Teeth” was to never ever look as desperate as the main character does. 

No emotion came from anywhere in my body during this movie because there were no backstories. All the audience knew was, for some reason, every gang was just mad at each other. It felt like I could start watching the movie from anywhere and still have the same feeling of complete nothingness. All in all, if you are looking for a movie to create some background noise, I highly recommend “Night Teeth.”