What your phone case reveals about you



Style is everything. Your style defines your personality, passions, and the core of your humanity. So what does your phone case tell you about yourself?

Paige Gordon, Staff writer

Forget horoscopes! Only your phone case can tell you what kind of personality you have!


Basic Solid Color

You are uninterested in phone customization and are an overall very average person, who will go on to be an average member of society. It is also possible that you are a minimalist. 


Clear Case

You are either a well-adjusted individual or are hiding some dark secrets. You’re cool and inconspicuous. You could have a body stashed in the floorboards of your house and no one would ever know. Most people barely know you as anything more than the “quiet one,” and even when you aren’t quiet, your open and honest persona makes you seem like a trustworthy acquaintance. Whether you are the sociopath version of the clear phone case owner depends on your secrets, and how well you hide evidence.


Otter Box and other protective cases

You are a huge clutz with trust issues. Chances are on your way to school today you tripped over your own feet at least five times and doubted your significant other actually meant it when they told you that they loved you. 


Monogrammed Leather 

You are a snob. You enjoy the sophisticated things in life; cheese and crackers are your go-to, you have overly complicated coffee orders and your mostly white living spaces are decorated with gray and blue furniture. There is a 50/50 chance you will eventually evolve to be your family’s “wine aunt” the moment your siblings have kids.


Name Brand Case

You are also a snob. You seem to have an irrepressible need to “flex” on those around you, and secretly your social group despises you. You simultaneously have an ego the size of Mars, and a crippling inferiority complex that leads you to drive away anyone in your life that may have something you lack.


Wallet Case

You love the idea of potentially losing literally everything you own in one go. Or are a parent (anyone under the age of 18, make sure you haven’t accidentally fathered any children as a preventative measure).


Novelty Cases

You thought it was a fun case until you realized your phone wouldn’t fit into your pocket. You tend to not think things through.


Fluffy Cases

You are toxic. You are that person who says they hate drama, but as soon as you know the details of some scandal, you immediately “spill the tea.” You inhale way too many bags of hot Cheetos, dress like a Bratz doll, exclusively drink iced coffee, and have a “princess” sticker on your car. Superficiality is your specialty, to the point where your fabricated personality is so fake that you make a Barbie doll look real.


Wildflower Case

You are a social media addict and or an Egirl. Either way, you are obsessed with cultivating your own aesthetic. You often take a brief peruse through Instagram and TikTok while doing your eyeliner for your upcoming Minecraft Livestream. 


Pattern Cases

You are an aesthetician. You are also dedicated to a specific style, but you have elevated your aesthetic to an art form. Your room is meticulously decorated to the point where it looks like a Pinterest board came to life, your outfits are always on point, and you radiate good vibes.


Wooden Cases

You are a pretentious, try-hard indie kid. You call yourself a hipster unironically, have a guitar you can’t actually play and you claim to hate pop music but you seem to think The Lumineers are the peak of alternative music. You are insufferable to be around, and you exclusively wear fake big glasses, beanies, and Doc Martens.


Meme Case

You are hilarious. You run seven different meme pages on Instagram and are your friend group’s designated comedian. But although you are genuinely funny, your funny man persona is all a facade to disguise the greatest joke of all… your life.


Inspirational Quote Case

You are an optimist. It’s frankly adorable just how naive you are to just how sick and sad the world truly is. When you’re feeling down, you just look at those words printed on your phone’s outer shell and assure yourself that there is a silver lining in every situation. You are, of course, wrong, but that joy is too rare these days and I will never try to take that away from you.


Sustainable Phone Case

You are gullible. You mean well in general, but you have unfortunately let big corporations let you believe that it’s your fault the Earth is decaying at an accelerated rate, and that your individual choices will make a difference. You also probably own a metal straw, and a Hydro Flask decorated with environmentalist stickers. Sorry sweetie, you really aren’t helping much, but I like your enthusiasm!


Battery Pack Charger

You are also a social media addict. You are a pretty laid-back person, but are somewhat fidgety without some form of stimulation. Twitter and Instagram are like second homes to you, you talk fast and are always on the go, caffeine is your best friend and you likely don’t fall asleep until 3 a.m. because you were too busy browsing through Reddit. 


No case

You are an idiot. You try to be a cool guy who lives life on the edge, but the sad truth is that you are a weak-willed, white livered pansy who can’t even ask for help finding the shampoo when you’re out running errands, you wobble legged coward. Grow a pair, why don’t you! You are a disgrace to your entire bloodline.