With the new year just beginning, many people find themselves making resolutions that they swear to stand by as the year goes on. Some may decide that now is the perfect time to finally start going to the gym, take on a new hobby or interest or even hold themselves more accountable to do day-to-day tasks. However, when these goals people set for themselves fail quicker than they can truly even start, they often find themselves feeling worse than when the previous year ended. So, I’m here to change your mind on something; we need to quit treating Jan. 1 as some special day to get our lives together, and instead treat it like another normal day. 

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that a lot of the feelings I have and decisions I make often start with what is most significant to others, not to myself. Hearing others talk about how “this is going to be their year” certainly doesn’t help our own case either. It is hard to hear others declare these statements with such confidence without thinking we have to do the same, which is where the root of the problem begins. According to psychotherapist Amy Morin, we often feel absurd pressure when celebrating the new year with our peers, as we feel we need to make a resolution that will be important to them, rather than ourselves. As we conform to others’ opinions and fall right back into these bad habits just as the new year starts, we’ve already made a poor choice in what holds significance in our life.

It also is not a smart choice to hold ourselves accountable to make resolutions we feel forced into after facing two statistically unprecedented years. There are many activities that we are unable to do because of the pandemic, so holding ourselves to unrealistic standards in the new year leads to an unhealthy lifestyle. Psychologist Sophie Lazarus says that “after a difficult year, the last thing we need to do is put more pressure on ourselves or set a goal that might not be realistic during a global pandemic.” With limitations out of our control already set upon us in recent years, there is no sense in making a resolution that will just lead us to feeling disappointment rather than relief in the new year. 

Instead of feeling like we need to put all of our focus into what we need to do differently in  2022, I think we should shift our focus into what we can do the same. Being so nitpicky and only finding the negative aspects to fix within ourselves is no way to start a brand new year. We all have things we could work on, but we all already have great aspects that should take up much more of our attention. So, as we are able to notice the small, positive things already taking place within us, we can take our time and change ourselves for the better when we are really ready to.