Dear underclassmen, please remember bathroom etiquette


Paige Gordon

For legal reasons, I am not allowed to show you the extent of vandalism in the old E-wing bathroom. Use your imagination.

Paige Gordon, Staff Writer

Dear underclassmen,

I am sorry to say that there have been some complaints about recent behavior in the LHS bathrooms. Now, I won’t be making a huge deal about it, but I will be giving you all some suggestions for how to be better.

First of all, please remember that our bathroom space is limited. There are only so many stalls, and there are a lot of students who need to access the facilities, especially during passing periods. I urge you to remember this the next time you decide to crowd the bathrooms with your group of friends. The bathroom is not a good hang-out spot, so stop lingering and chatting. Also, please keep in mind that talking with a friend while in the stalls is incredibly inappropriate. If you feel like talking to a friend from your stall, I recommend you do this during class time and not during the passing period. All those personal details are completely audible to everyone else, and it might be best if you keep that to yourself. No one wants to hear the explicit details of your private life while they are washing their hands.

Second, I have noticed quite a bit of vandalism in the last few months. As much as I enjoy reading your words of wisdom and your profound thoughts, there are a couple of rules:

  1. Always use an easily erasable writing utensil, such as a pencil or pen. The janitors don’t get paid enough to scrub sharpie off the walls.
  2. Write only on stall doors and walls, not the mirrors, the toilet paper dispensers, or the toilets themselves.
  3. Be creative! Don’t just write the cliche “school sucks” and random curse words. Add some pizzazz! Stick it to the man! 
  4. Ladies, I am aware that womanhood is awful, but please refrain from using your blood as finger paint. 
  5. Scratching quotes into the doors with your nails or other tools is strictly prohibited

Third, please refrain from bringing your snacks into the bathroom stalls. Other than being just flat-out unsanitary, chances are you will forget to take them out. You wouldn’t want to waste a perfectly good bag of Cheez-Its, would you? I can’t count how many times I have stepped in a puddle of Monster Energy drinks or iced coffee.

Other things to practice good bathroom etiquette include:

  • Restraining yourselves from taking bathroom selfies
  • Being quick when adjusting your makeup; you look great so don’t even worry about it!
  • Precise aiming when using the toilet
  • Using toilet paper responsibly
  • No fighting, screaming, or starting petty arguments
  • Refraining from sharing stalls during the school day; after 3:15 anything is fair game

And lastly, if you absolutely need to smoke or vape, do it in your car or in the parking lot like an adult (there are hidden vape detectors in there, so keep that in mind).