By observation of public distress, we have put together a list of helpful endeavors to help our community outsmart the younger generation in the event of… the Easter egg hunt. 

• Plan how you want to walk around the area. By having more awareness of your surroundings, you have a better chance of winning. Look the day before in every possible area to get a better understanding of hiding spots. This way you will be more prepared and have an advantage over your competitors.

• Stock up on energy drinks to be at your best potential. Consuming extreme amounts of caffeine can lead to insomnia, but it can also lead you to be more awake and stay up longer than others, giving you a better chance to win. While the others grow tired and want to be done, you will be extra energized and ready to continue the course. 

• Train for the Hunt. Strengthen your stamina. Younger competitors have the advantage of having more energy throughout the hunt. Don’t let that weaken your mentality. Train every day by taking an extended walk around your neighborhood. Maybe even hit the gym a couple of times to really feel prepared.

• Check in high places. The adults aren’t going to let you get away too easily with where they hide their precious eggs. To spice up the hunt, they will place the eggs in trickier places. To increase your chances of finding the eggs stuffed with money before your 4’2” cousins, always keep an unpackable ladder backpack. By doing so you can easily prop up your ladder to swiftly climb up to the top of the water tower where your older cousins told you to look.

• Threaten your competitors. Instead of immediately setting the boundaries with your competitors, convince them that you’re a team. Make a “bargain” and offer a 50/50 split. Then once all the eggs are found, leave and take everything. Sabotage is too sweet to share.

• Create your camouflage. To limit your spending and stay on budget, wear a swimsuit that you’re not too attached to, find a muddy space and fill with water to cover yourself head-to-toe, then roll around in your community leaf pile. By following these steps you will ensure a proper, sneaky attack plan to blend in with your surroundings and outsmart your competitors.

• Have a winner’s mentality. Remember, everyone has the same goal: to win. But you need to be extra motivated to get the gold. Fear failure. Never settle for second place. If you settle for second you might as well not try at all. Always get first. 

• No mercy. Explains itself. But reflect on the 5 by 5 rule. If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it. Knock those suckers out; there’s more than enough ice to meet their physically painful needs.