Divorce is not detrimental


Brooks Houwman

This chart accurately shows the percentage of divorced couples to the percentage of married couples.

Brooks Houwman, Staff Writer


Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce. My parents were one of the 50% who got divorced and then did it again a couple of years later. Most people ask me, “Do you ever wish they were still together?” No, I do not. I actually laugh at the thought of them being together. The divorce happened when I was three, and from then on my suitcase packing abilities have never been the same. Growing up I felt completely alone in the world. All of my friends’ parents were still together, and here I was. Alone. 

As I grew up and went to bigger schools, I realized that I was not the only one who had separated parents. I also learned that divorce was not the worst thing on the planet. Some of my favorite perks include leaving and going to the other parents house when I am mad and the major guilt trips I can conjure up when one gets a little too full of themselves. 

The younger version of myself would have told anyone that my parents’ divorce had ruined my life. Even thinking about saying that makes me ashamed, especially when I would use it in fights with my parents. Now I like to think of how proud I am that my parents knew that their situation was not working and did something about it. It would have been easier for them to continue to be miserable, but stay together to satisfy those around them. They did not stay in an unhealthy relationship and did not care about the frowned upon idea of divorce in South Dakota. It is almost 15 years later and they both are successful, loving and happy doing their own thing. I have seen many marriages now that are unhappy. The people surrounding these marriages are more miserable than they would have been if people could understand that you can only try to fix a marital problem so many times. I am not saying that if someone runs into these marital problems the first thing they should do is call it quits. But I am saying that there is only so much fixing spouses can do in their marriage. 

I can honestly say that my parents’ divorce made me stronger and not weaker. My parents never micro-managed my siblings and me because they were usually working or taking us to various sports or activities. No one looks at my grades or notifies me when I have work. Now I can finally see how useful this is in the real world as I watch fellow peers wear the same outfit every day because their parents forgot to do their laundry. Divorce has also taught me not to settle. My parents have both thrived with a partner and thrived without a partner. Each of them knows their worth and does not rely on anyone. 

Divorce is not ideal, and it never will be. Going back and forth between houses and not having a great romantic role model is nothing short of hard. But long-term it is not so bad. Watching your parents get remarried, have more kids and live their happily ever after makes it worth it. Though it can be uncomfortable and awkward at times, the future holds a bag full of endless possibilities. Without my dads remarriage I would never have met my step mom, step brother and step sister. Without my mom’s marriage, I would not have thought I was the coolest for basically having a super spy as my step dad. Without divorce I would have never met these people and many others who forever changed my life.