I am loud.

 Over the years I have tried controlling my volume, but no matter what I do I always resort to yelling.

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Over the years I have tried controlling my volume, but no matter what I do I always resort to yelling.

Katie Jensen, Staff Writer

As I am constantly being told that I am a “chatty Kathy” or that “my voice carries,” I can sometimes be discouraged with myself. I’ll be the first to admit that I am a loud person, and I may lack some self-awareness when it comes to the sound of my voice, but whenever a classmate mindlessly pokes fun at that fact, I can’t help but be a little self-conscious. Yes, I may talk bad about someone as they’re unknowingly 10 feet behind me and of course, they will hear or maybe I will be screaming about some arbitrary topic to my friend while the whole class is waiting for me to shut up, but that does not mean that my loudness is a disadvantage. 

Growing up my core memory of elementary and middle school is sitting in the gyms at parent-teacher conferences. My parents and I would go from table to table as each teacher would say the same exact words, “Katie is a good student but she talks too much.” The more my parents heard it, the more they learned to laugh it off and move on, in fact, it’s the reason why my parents don’t fight with me to go to conferences now. What’s the point of just hearing the same feedback over and over again? Of course, I would tell my parents I would work on it, and I really would try. That is until I got to school the next day and I remember that I feel the need to tell any person next to me every thought that enters my brain. Now, this was and probably still is really annoying to anyone within a 20 feet radius of me, but I can’t hold myself back. My voice is the way I express myself. Whether I am screaming about some annoying random topic I decided to be passionate about that week, answering questions not so confidently in class or singing absolutely terribly to my favorite song, my voice allows me to be me.

As I grow older, I am still trying to figure out the appropriate times to unleash my loudness onto the world. I still get shushed or go home after a long day and think how annoying I was all day. I am still learning how to be self-aware, something that most kids learn when they are in elementary school. But the fact of the matter is, my loudness has led me to where I am today. It has allowed me to lead with confidence and ambition and has granted me a way to express my feelings. Honestly, I don’t think I would have or be involved in half of the things I am if I hadn’t talked my way in or made myself known. Using my voice has led to accumulating the immense amount of support I receive daily from my friends who have let me embrace my loudness. I can now accept my loudness as a part of me that may sometimes need to be toned down a tad but never gotten rid of completely. I believe in being loud because I believe in being me.