Female friendships


Raina Marty

The quality of friendships outweighs that quantity of friendships in so many ways.

Raina Marty, Staff Writer

As I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed the special and specific dynamic between women. Throughout high school I have learned through my friendships with girls that they have very similar qualities. These girls have also had very similar experiences with each other as I have. From my personal life, I have been able to learn many lessons through talking with other girls and with my own experiences. Based on my experience with girls and even being one, we are a little more tense and harder to read. Friendships with females seem to get a little more difficult the older you get. 

Constant competition plays a big role when girls are friends whether it is big or small. This has to do with boys, each other’s body, what clothes they wear or even how athletic they are. I have been the one who is jealous or who wants to look like a certain girl. But I have also been the girl to have a crush on the same guy as my friend, creating unnecessary drama. A lot of girls have been in the same situation as me. To avoid being either of those girls, I have learned that you need to build your own personal confidence to avoid competitions. Eliminate the competitiveness out of your life. Find something you’re good at. It might not be a sport but what if you’re really good at music or drawing. When it comes to guys, you are not going to want a guy who is not into you for who you are. If he likes someone else, so be it, you can’t force feelings. Learn to let go to be free. 

Lack of loyalty is sadly huge in women and it tends to happen frequently. It is something that happens not only to women but something we do  to others. It could be something as little as canceling plans. If you and your friend made plans to hangout and last minute the cooler girls asked you to hangout or a cute boy invited you over, you should not just make up an excuse to cancel. Either explain the situation or choose to stick to your promise. It depends on the circumstance but it is unfair to others to not show up and give 100% in a friendship.

Copying each other is another similar quality that is shared amongst females. Sometimes copying can lead to drama. To avoid the drama that comes with it, let people copy you. It really is not that big of a deal. Don’t be a gatekeeper. Sometimes, it can make me so frustrated with the fact that someone is copying me. And although it’s a form of flattery, it’s taking a step back and distancing myself a little bit. And if you want to copy someone else, be open with it. But tell them you admire what they’re wearing and don’t be sneaky and weird about copying people. Don’t be afraid to tell them you’re obsessed with their earrings. You can copy them but make it a little bit of your own, like putting a twist on an outfit. 

It’s easy to talk to your friends face to face but somehow easier to talk bad about them behind their back. Think; is this something you can talk to them about to their face or is this friendship really not that important to you? Is it something they need to hear or something that’s productive to say about them? Or are they really just bothering you to a point where you are being disloyal to them. If you are going out of your way to talk so badly about them behind their back, why would you even be friends with them anymore? Sometimes people’s actions just make us mad or what they said was mean. But it is unfair to a friend because they don’t need to have me, for example, out there talking bad about them. On top of that, it would be unhealthy for me to talk so negatively about my friend when it won’t change anything. Don’t be doing it all the time. Either talk to them about what they are doing that is bothering you or stop being friends with them. 

One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a girl being friends with girls, is that independence is big. It’s okay if you don’t get invited to something or if your friends are hanging out with other friends. Learn how to get comfortable with yourself and enjoy alone time. You don’t need your friends to protect you. You can have a life outside of them because not only is it important to you, but also your friends. Learn how to have fun on your own. Have that independence.