Picture this: you are trying to peacefully walk to your 6th period class when fire alarms suddenly start blaring to tell you to flee the burning school.

Upon listening to the censored propaganda machine that is the afternoon announcements, one would think this event was caused by a faulty sprinkler system. However, some students are not willing to take Grimm’s lies at face value. LHS junior Mark Pfeifle is fed up with the sly shenanigans of Grimm. Pfeifle seems convinced the drill was sent off for other reasons.

“Low-scoring freshmen have been dragging down our test scores for too long,” said Pfeifle. “The administration tried to fix [the freshmen problem] with the Freshmen Academy, but the freshmen are still failures. The school then decided to incinerate the bottom five percent of freshmen in order to try and revive the test scores.”

While many accept Pfeifle’s theory, others have theories of their own. Sophomore Zach Miller insists that the screeching alarms were set off by the smoke released by drag racing Heelies down the A-wing hallway or illegal vaping.

“Whenever you walk into a bathroom there is a 15 percent chance you are going to see some edgy freshmen juuling,” said Miller. “If you see more than four guys in a bathroom, they’re probably vaping.”

These are just some of the many possible theories LHS has, some just don’t make any sense. Senior, self-proclaimed avid bird-watcher and first-responder Caiden Capaldo has a controversial theory few believe.

“When I saw that Steve Blankenship had pulled the fire alarm, I was aghast,” said Capaldo. “Then, I discovered that department chair, Kim Maass, had told Blankenship to pull said alarm. This then made me wonder if that was the reason why LHS Principal Bob Grimm had placed 20 dollars in the hands of Maass the other day. Better yet, district superintendent, Dr. Maher was spotted walking out of Grimm’s office only moments before students walked out in packs to escape the flames. And since everybody knows that Dr. Maher and Mayor Tenhaken are secretly father and son; it makes me wonder if Tanhaken was in on it too. In light of the president’s recent visit to Sioux Falls, it is hard to tell just how far up the conspiracy goes.”

If these theories are true or not there is one thing that is for sure: Grimm is covering up something that he doesn’t want us to know.