Our planet is killing us slowly.

     Dihydrogen monoxide is one of the most widely influential substances on the planet. According to USGS, about 71 percent of the surface of the Earth is covered in dihydrogen monoxide. People use the tasteless, colorless liquid for most of their daily hygiene-related routines. It is found everywhere in the average American home; people even pump it through their houses using pipes and faucets. Yet, lurking underneath its innocent facade lies a dangerous truth; anyone who ingests this substance will die, sooner or later. Despite the dangers dihydrogen monoxide poses, people continue to migrate to bodies of dihydrogen monoxide for vacations and other recreational activities. The danger doesn’t stop there; studies into specific deaths related to dihydrogen monoxide have revealed worrying information about extreme cases of consumption (and lack thereof).

     According to Scientific American, too much dihydrogen monoxide can be very deadly for the human body. When too much of it is consumed, dihydrogen monoxide cannot be flushed out of the kidneys fast enough, causing the blood to dilute and drain the liquid into the cells, swelling and eventually bursting them. Ingesting too much of the substance at once can lead to severe damage. However, too little dihydrogen monoxide causes dehydration, a process that can eventually lead to death if not addressed. Symptoms of dehydration include thirst, a dry mouth, dry skin, headaches and muscle cramps. In severe cases, doctors see symptoms such as fainting, rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, sunken eyes and tiredness. If any of these symptoms affect you, seek immediate medical attention – dehydration can be deadly.

     Fortunately for the human race, it’s most likely you shouldn’t have to worry about dehydration or overhydration on a daily, or even yearly, basis. Cases of death are very rare. As long as you listen to your body and ingest dihydrogen monoxide when you feel like your body needs it, you should stay far away from the extreme sides of the spectrum. As far as advice goes on the application of this substance, many scientists will say the same thing – don’t confuse dihydrogen monoxide with its close relative, hydrogen peroxide – that would be a fatal mistake.

Disclaimer: Dihydrogen Monoxide is also known as H2O and more commonly, water. But be warned – this article tells no lies.