The soup season slump is real, and intimidating unit tests do nothing to ease the pain. On the flip side, Ugg boots have emerged from their annual hibernation and iced gingerbread chai lattes are more superfluous than mass-produced plastic sleds. This conflicting description is the essence of mid-November through mid-December, a period when every individual takes on a pre-holiday horoscope that encompasses their early winter identity. Why not interpret these personas and find out your seasonal stereotype?
Movie marathoner
Whether it be the Harry Potter franchise, infinite and indistinguishable Hallmark films, Charlie Brown specials or Freeform’s “25 Days of Christmas,” you cope with the stress of life and the coming holiday season by dissociating. By turning on the TV and lying to yourself that you will “multitask” while binging nostalgic winter hits, you continue the never-ending cycle of procrastination.
Handmade gifter
You are better than the rest of the population, and you know it. The typical “handmade gifter” begins the laborious task of crafting presents for every sibling and weird uncle in the family before Halloween. Crocheting, origami, scrapbooking, glassblowing and astro-physics; you were blessed with genetics and determination.
Jet-setter
“The journey is the destination,” as your Instagram caption informs the internet. Where were you the month of school before holiday break? The Louvre? Fiji? The Himalayas? Everyone wants to be a “jet-setter,” cultivating a flawless tan instead of taking an AP Chemistry test, yet not everyone has an unknown and usually generational source of funding. Safe travels, and see you in March.
Sleepless studier
Christmas awaits, but so does the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Even as the end of the first semester comes into sight, the grind never stops for the “sleepless studier”. Insomnia is an understatement while you juggle ACT prep, early application essays and pre-holiday consumerism. When January rolls around, you will finally be able to secure more than four hours of sleep on weekdays.
Millennial mom
The epitome of Santa’s nice list is also known as the “millennial mom.” If you fall into this group of scarf-wearing eggnog enthusiasts and plaid-ridden Black Friday fanatics, you alone keep Macy’s department stores in business. While the title is misleading, you do not actually have to be a mother to identify with this persona; however, you are likely to buy enough seasonal fall and winter Starbucks to sustain a family.
The Grinch
Finals are coming up, days are eternally dark and dirty slush lines the roads. For these reasons, you may consider yourself a Grinch. Only the long-awaited weeks of winter break free from homework and loud classmates will grow your “two sizes too small heart.” You definitely do not listen to Mariah Carey or decorate before December 1st, and most likely, not at all. Though family members and friends who have miraculously kept your friendship try to sway your pessimistic tendencies, you would rather complain about Buddy the Elf.
