Sound the alarm, the smokey conspiracy

Cameron Rhode, Business Manager

September 20, 2018

Picture this: you are trying to peacefully walk to your 6th period class when fire alarms suddenly start blaring to tell you to flee the burning school. Upon listening to the censored propaganda machine that is the afternoon announcements, one would think this event was caused by a faulty sprinkler system. Ho...

Dear Journal: Trumpy had fun

Yairis Alvarado, Staff Writer

September 12, 2018

Dear Journal, Hey, it’s Daddy Trump. I apologize for being gone for so long. Kellyanne took you after I left it in the golf cart when I went to go play golf with Kanye. Now I am back and ready to tell you about my trip to go help my favorite vassal. I flew in the big airplane, which, BTW, I...

The hipster takeover: Soundset addition

Hannah Hansen, Staff Writer

May 30, 2018

Hipster youth had another chance to bust out the flower crowns and crop tops at a semi-local music festival this past weekend. Soundset, an annual music festival held during the Memorial Day weekend in the Minneapolis-Saint Paul area, brought music lovers together - one man bun at a time. Are you wond...

May Issue of Statesman

May 29, 2018

The Statesman has created a May issue that will only be available online. Here is the link to view it:            

Laughing at our overwhelming defeats: AP testing

Ellie Lamberty, Meet the Varsity

May 24, 2018

The two weeks of AP testing just recently rolled around starting May 7 and ending May 18. Along with testing stress and tears, many memes followed suit. Some worked extremely hard in hopes of getting a five, while others strolled in at 7:30 a.m. or 11:30 a.m. and accepted their inevitable defeat. I ...

Ten tips for surviving the end of the school year

Brianna Geis, Journalism Student

May 24, 2018

The end of the school year is quickly approaching. It can be very stressful as summer approaches with finals and AP exams. Here are a few tips in order to wrap up the school year with some good scores: Stay up late to help release natural endorphins, which in turn will help you stay more focused dur...

The best things to do in the summer

Johana Brower, Journalism Student

May 24, 2018

Study, study and study: Studying is very important especially in the summer. It is a proven fact kids who do not study in the summertime get dumber and lose all their useful knowledge. Go to the library: If someone was to say “study”, they would need books on the subject matter and what better plac...

Why mental breakdowns are expensive

Ethan Kolb, Journalism Student

May 24, 2018

As teens go through high school, they are expected to study, have extracurricular activities, work and still preserve a social life, yet the cost of these standards is our mental health. This goes underlooked for the most part in modern society.   We follow trends that pop up, such as ‘Yanny vs Laurel.’ The...

How to Flirt With Trees – A Five Step Process

Slater Dixon

May 24, 2018

For many teenagers, high school is a time to improve their academic endurance, physical strength and emotional maturity. For others, though, they just want that cute gf to get them through the next three months. But getting a dating companion can be difficult and keeping one can be even harder. If yo...

Top 10 most unpopular (but very valid) opinions

Alex Turner, Journalism Student

May 23, 2018

We all have opinions, many of them probably unpopular. The basic ones, obviously, are like whether or not you like coffee, Drake or Trump. This list delves into 10 more unpopular opinions that not many people have.  Coffee is not that good: The black bean liquid everyone seems to be drinking these d...

Mail truck dreams

Katie Osmundson, Staff Writer

May 16, 2018

I want to get hit by a mail truck. Strange? Yes. Smart? Yes. Dangerous? Probably. Here is the thing: I will be a senior next year, and that is crazy because it means that I am going to have to go to college. What is even more scary is that I am going to have to pay for college. One night I sat do...

Aftermath: life after AP tests

Timothy Stolp, Staff Writer

May 16, 2018

One by one, the dreaded AP tests have been taken by the cohort of students that exemplify the standard of excellence at LHS. Unfortunately for them, the worst is yet to come. For those who have not enrolled in an AP class, we who have offer this warning: The test is only the beginning of an AP stude...