Lincoln High School Statesman

The worst thing about America

The worst thing about America

Elizabeth Boysen, Staff Writer

February 14, 2019

Disclaimer: Some reading the title may think this article is controversial and politically charged. While possibly controversial, it is in no way political. The worst aspect of America is not our government or the impending threat of nuclear war (sorry for that dismal note). No. It is something far w...

Drinking the Kool-Aid: one man’s pursuit to refresh LHS

Drinking the Kool-Aid: one man’s pursuit to refresh LHS

Caleb Miller, Staff Writer

February 13, 2019

These past two weeks have been full of students doing everything they can to win the LHS vote, and that means standing up to issues all across the spectrum. One large point in particular that has been brought up is the E-Wing water fountains and making them better and tastier for everyone. But o...

The untold dangers of dihydrogen monoxide

The untold dangers of dihydrogen monoxide

Sophia Boyt, Staff Writer

February 8, 2019

     Our planet is killing us slowly.      Dihydrogen monoxide is one of the most widely influential substances on the planet. According to USGS, about 71 percent of the surface of the Earth is covered in dihydrogen monoxide. People use the tasteless, colorless liquid for most of their daily hygie...

Shave me from the liberals

Shave me from the liberals

Lauren Teller, Staff Writer

January 24, 2019

“Gillette: the best a man can be.” The commercial ends and the screen once again shows Sunday football. But something feels off. Hmmm… am I too straight, white and male to continue using my trusty Gillette razor? Strolling through the aisles of my local supermarket, I come across a glimmering...

Slader controversy brings grief, heartbreak

Slader controversy brings grief, heartbreak

Slater Dixon, Staff Writer

January 7, 2019

As school authorities sift through the heartbreaking wreckage, one thing is for sure: This is a tragedy that will never be forgotten. There is still a great deal of uncertainty surrounding the controversy, and a statement by Slader.com released this morning seems to only lead to more questions. “We are deeply grieved ...

The bloody referendum, a satire

The bloody referendum, a satire

Gage Gramlick, Editor-in-chief

December 12, 2018

Every four years, I am obligated to unmuzzle my dog. It is part of the deal. I must say, it is quite a pain in the neck, but it is what it is. I’ve found, in my countless years as a career dog master, that momentary benevolence helps to ease the process- a treat to fill her mouth rather than words. ...

The SFSD considers a new grading system

The SFSD considers a new grading system

Slater Dixon, Staff Writer

December 10, 2018

In the midst of renewed efforts to boost grades across the district, administrators are pointing to the grading system as an area that could use some work. The biggest idea: Replace the percentage based grading system with one that gives scores based off of where you would be if you were playing a game o...

LHS junior disappointed by misleading Snapchat Story

LHS junior disappointed by misleading Snapchat Story

Slater Dixon, Staff Writer

December 3, 2018

LHS junior Blake Matthews was severely disappointed on Friday night after viewing what he thought was going to be a wild ride of a Snapchat Story. Matthews was reportedly lying in bed when the incident occurred. It was around 12:15 a.m. “I remember it specifically because it was right after I mad...

School security: Real or Hoax

School security: Real or Hoax

Ethan Kolb and Justin Schriever

October 18, 2018

  https://youtu.be/IkqCcdkX1zs Here is the link for the video if the video shows as restricted: https://youtu.be/IkqCcdkX1zs

Whatever… let’s rank the sports

Whatever… let’s rank the sports

Slater Dixon, Manager of Business

September 28, 2018

Here at LHS, we pride ourselves on the variety of activities students can participate in. From band to football to four-square club, students of all interests can find something they enjoy doing. Among the extracurriculars offered at LHS, sports is one of the most popular. One might wonder though:...

Weekly horoscopes

Weekly horoscopes

Charlie Turner, Staff Writer

September 27, 2018

Astrology may not be accurate all the time, but when I spoke to the stars directly, they told me, “The stars? Wait, you were talking to me? Uhhh,” and “Can you get out of this Home Depot? We don’t know who you are.” Here is your week, according to the real life questions I had answered by the stars.

Watch this: Weight Watchers pulls a Jonah Hill

Watch this: Weight Watchers pulls a Jonah Hill

Gage Gramlick, Editor-in-chief

September 26, 2018

Weight Watchers is shifting its narrative. In an attempt to be more body positive, the titan health company has decided to drop the weight from its name, electing to go by WW. “We think it’s time for a change,” said chief executive Mindy Grossman. “We don’t want to focus just on weight; ...