Lincoln High School Statesman

Survival guide to parent-teacher conferences

Survival guide to parent-teacher conferences

Timothy Stolp, Staff Writer

October 18, 2017

First quarter and third quarter mark another round of terrifying moments for most students: Parent-teacher conferences. The misnomered event, which should be parent-teacher-student conferences (unfortunately), can only be mastered with practice and perseverance (unfortunately). This means you have ...

How to survive using social media

How to survive using social media

Lillian D., Journalism Student

May 30, 2017

Using the Internet is more than connecting to WiFi and getting to certain websites. There are certain rules that one must follow in order to make their internet usage successful. Make a comment on every issue you have an opinion on. This one is pretty simple. Many people like to go online to sha...

Stop trashing the LHS bathrooms 2k17

Stop trashing the LHS bathrooms 2k17

Glory Yount, Staff Writer

May 25, 2017

There’s a few aspects of LHS that I, a graduating senior, will miss. I’ll miss my Ad Room family and our somewhat disorganized parties, the way the sweep teacher automatically knows that I’m on the daily sweep list and I’ll miss congregating with my group of friends in the foyer after school every...

Where is Hillary now?

Where is Hillary now?

Katie Osmundson and Lauren Teller, Journalism Students

May 25, 2017

February 13- Hiding “lost” Blackberries at oversea pantsuit factory Clinton was seen fleeing a pantsuit factory in Benghazi, Libya. Clinton used funds from the Clinton Foundation to employ war orphans for three cents a day. The factory is managed by aides of Clinton's campaign. The suits are m...

Why cooking is not an easy activity…or my talent

Why cooking is not an easy activity…or my talent

Riley Rasmussen, Staff Writer

May 24, 2017

For some, cooking is a talent. For others, cooking is a hobby. For me, cooking rings off all alarm bells. Cooking is an activity that most people are good at, however I am most definitely not one of those people. The moment I saw smoke coming from the microwave and opened the microwave to see sizz...

5 totally historically accurate photographs

5 totally historically accurate photographs

Glory Yount, Staff Writer

May 24, 2017

President John F. Kennedy poses for a photo with his wife, Jacqueline, before heading to the Dealy Plaza in Dallas, TX. (1963) Helen Keller meets her childhood hero, Beyonce. (1924) Abraham Lincoln standing by the entrance of the high school he attended. (1864) President Abraham Lincoln...

I say I am, therefore I am

I say I am, therefore I am

Gage Gramlick, Staff writer

May 24, 2017

Hello. My name is Gage, and I am a vegetarian who eats meat. Confusing? That’s okay, I’ll explain. See, I used be just a regular omnivorous guy that was open about my meek affinity for meat. Then 2016 happened and I learned that I can be anything simply by labeling myself the title of my aspirati...

Stirring the pot: Time to defy spoon gender norms

Stirring the pot: Time to defy spoon gender norms

Gage Gramlick

May 22, 2017

I love to spoon. I spoon everything; stuffed animals, your mom, life-sized cut outs of Simon Cowel, literal spoons, small elephants... You name it, I spoon it. Yet, there is a prominent stigma attached to being the small spoon. In a heterosexual relationship, the male is expected to be the big spoon...

GPA killing virus sweeps through LHS

GPA killing virus sweeps through LHS

May 11, 2017

It is like a scene from “The Walking Dead.” There are hundreds of slightly sunburnt students shuffling from one class to another just hoping they have something fun planned and no homework is assigned. They are only capable of a few things. The most important is counting down the days till g...

AP students double productivity after AP tests

AP students double productivity after AP tests

Jack Fehrs, Staff Writer

May 1, 2017

This week, many AP students are taking their long awaited AP tests. Students have been preparing for the tests for weeks and are excited to finally get the heavy weight of the test off of their shoulders. But that does not mean there will be a dip in productivity among AP students. The common att...

How the NFL Draft crushes dreams

How the NFL Draft crushes dreams

Molly McIntyre, Staff Writer

April 25, 2017

The lights are turned on. The commissioner walks on the stage ready to announce the first pick of the 2017 NFL Draft. Players fresh out of the combine wait in hopes to hear their name called, but pray to whatever god they believe in that they do not get drafted first. Everyone looks at the giant ...

Dating tips: spaghetti kid edition

Dating tips: spaghetti kid edition

Glory Yount, Staff Writer

April 13, 2017

With the rise of the spaghetti kids*, it’s becoming more and more difficult to align actions with the expectations of the ever-demanding culture. Any spaghetti kid can agree that expressing your dominance over other spaghetti kids can only be achieved by actively proving one’s spaghetti as more pre...