Lincoln High School Statesman

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…

Molly McIntyre, Staff Writer

April 11, 2017

Recently, there have been a handful of high school seniors across the nation who have been in the spotlight for their excellence in academics. These seniors got accepted to all eight Ivy League schools and now face the difficult decision of choosing where to continue their educations. Their decision i...

Am I pissed off?

Am I pissed off?

Glory Yount, Staff Writer

April 4, 2017

I’ve been told that I look irrationally pissed off in the hallways, flaunting a constant facial expression that suggests maybe I just discovered that my car was keyed, or that the economy is on the verge of collapse. However, I’m usually feeling pretty upbeat and like to consider myself to be a pret...

Obama healing his broken heart

Obama healing his broken heart

Glory Yount, Staff Political Cartoonist

March 21, 2017

 

The day I ate a really good corn dog… and died

The day I ate a really good corn dog… and died

Gage Gramlick, Staff Writer

March 9, 2017

  Death. It stole me like the devil’s lettuce steals the innocence of sophomores; quickly and far too soon. I was eating a corndog at the local fair, showing passersby how far down my throat I could push it. I was in the middle of my stunt when, all of a sudden, I couldn’t pull out. The stic...

Teachers read mean reviews

Teachers read mean reviews

Julia Breukelman, Feature Editor

February 2, 2017

Teachers at LHS were asked to read a mean review they received from Ratemyteachers.com. This was inspired by Jimmy Kimmel's "Mean Tweets."

Let’s cut the crap

Let’s cut the crap

Gage Gramlick, Staff Writer

January 3, 2017

The greatest problem facing LHS students today is not grades, poverty, or STD’s, no, it's chapped-arse syndrome. Yes, the red-rump, the blistered bosom, tender tosh- we’ve all been there. Of course, the toilet paper provided by the school is poor in quality due to the need to keep costs low. We ...

LHS teachers photoshopped into Holiday scenes

LHS teachers photoshopped into Holiday scenes

Glory Yount, Molly McIntyre, Julia Breukelman, and Abbie Griffin

December 22, 2016

          Photoshop creds: Glory Yount...

This week in history: the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963

This week in history: the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963

Glory Yount, Staff Writer

November 21, 2016

In the fall of 1963, President John F. Kennedy was touring around the U.S. as he was planning to run for re-election in 1964, only to be disrupted by a major historical event. It was just two weeks after Kennedy’s first meeting with his advisers about running for re-election and Kennedy understood the impo...

Christmas should start the day after Halloween

Christmas should start the day after Halloween

Glory Yount, Staff Writer

November 4, 2016

October 32, the day after Halloween. Kids gorge themselves sick on the candy they received from the escapade of trick-or-treating the night before as post-Halloween-depression sets in. Although the spooky season has ended, the fun does not. The holidays have just begun. Devils and witches trade in their costumes f...

Ho-ho-hold on a minute

Ho-ho-hold on a minute

Molly McIntyre, Staff Writer

November 4, 2016

It is the day after Halloween. Kids are stuffing their faces with candy scored from the night before. Beautiful colored leaves are still falling from the trees and it is the first day of 24 hour Christmas music being on the radio. Halloween is over but it is still way, way too early for Christmas. The...

A cure for stupidity

A cure for stupidity

Gage Gramlick, Staff Writer

October 27, 2016

The dangerous trend of opting not to vaccinate is plaguing the U.S. and other developed countries. These people call themselves anti-vaxxers, and they may be the biggest threat to public health since Hitler. The anti-vaxxers believe that the MMR vaccine and other commonly administered vaccines cause au...